Muppet Show Outline: But no guest star...

[ryhoyarbie]

backstage where we see digit hooked up with a lot of wires and lindbergh supervising
digit: alright, i think i'm getting a signal now.
kermit walks in
kermit: what's going on?
digit: i'm trying to find the right frequency so we can watch the beauty pageant.
leon flashes in really quick
leon: a beauty pageant, oh man digit you just gotta find that frequency for my life.
pepe comes running in really fast
pepe: did someone say beauty pageant because that's what i heard okay?
leon looks at his watch
leon: and just a few seconds behind me. you're getting slow shrimp.
pepe: first of all, how many times do i have to say i'm a king....you know what, i've said this so many times to you people and you still haven't caught on. i give up.
kermit: pepe, isn't this your day off?
pepe: ya and?.......
kermit: then why are you here?
pepe: pepe can not afford cable with the salary you pay me okay. so i come here to watch all the free cable i can.
digit: uh oh, my circuits are overloading. i'm having a systems failure!
kermit: quick lindbergh, fix him.
lindbergh acting like scotty from star trek: i can't do it captain, the power is overloading him!
crazy harry walks in
crazy harry; crazyy harry knows what to do, ha ha ha ha ha....
crazy harry blows up digit in lots of pieces
lindbergh: i can't believe you did that.
kermit: how many times do i have to tell you harry, you don't blow up the cast, just the guest stars that are having a lousy performance.
kermit looks at a tv and see's dr. teeth and the electric mayhem. kermit taps on the tv
kermit: hey dr. teeth, are you guys ready?
dr. teeth: you bet green stuff, just give us the signal and we'll bang the crowd with a crazy and funky groove!
clifford: hey kerm, why do i have to play with the band? i wanted to watch the beauty pageant.
kermit: i'm sorry clifford but digit was unable to get a frequency and is temporarily offline, in a million pieces!
clifford: oh man that's bad.
kermit: ya i know.
clifford: no, that i can't watch the beauty show now.
kermit: good grief, just start the song.
for the theme of the show, dr. teeth and the band play "weird science"
statler: how'd you like that song?
waldorf: well it was definitely weird!
both: duhohohoho......
backstage
kermit: hows it going lindbergh?
lindbergh: it would be going better if i had a pizza.
kermit: i mean with digit.
lindbergh: oh! well uh it's going rather slowly then.
kermit: what's the problem, i thought you knew how to fix him?
lindbergh: i do, it's just that with all of his updated software, i could be tapping into something that could permanently shut him down forever.
kermit: yeesh!
gonzo and bobo the bear walk by
kermit: hey gonzo, are you ready for your number?
gonzo: you bet kermit. it's going to be the most death defying stunt in my career and bobo here is going to help me do it.
kermit: bobo do you think that's wise?
bobo: oh ya. i know i'm a little slow in the old noggin but gonzo here say's that it take me a while to pro, to proc, to..
gonzo: process
bobo: process! things.
beauregard: me too!
kermit has a blank expression on his face
kermit: okay, well get on out there right now.
onstage
gonzo: ladies and gentlemen, and other creatures. i will now perform my most dangerous stunt. bobo will be the antenna's for the television while i try to watch all of the reality shows that have been on air while trying to not fall asleep from boredom.
statler: if you want to watch a show while trying not to fall asleep then watch this show!
waldorf: this show will definitely put you to sleep, or to an early grave!
both: duhohohohohohoho..........
kermit walks onstage
kemit: gonzo!!!!!! what are you doing?
gonzo: i'm going to watch all of the reality shows that have been on the air.
kermit: but this isn't interesting to the audience.
gonzo: boy i'll say. it would be much more entertaining if they did reailty shows with barnyard animals!
kermit: get off the stage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
backstage where lindbergh, bunsen, and beaker are working on digit
kermit: how's it coming guys?
bunsen: well after putting a few wires here and a few wires there...
lindebergh: we think we got digit back up and running.
kermit: so digit will work?
beaker: me me me me mo mo me me me me me mo mo mo mi mo me mo mo me me mi mi mi mi mo
kermit: translation?
bunsen: yes!
kermit: oh good, then digit is up next in the pigs in space number.
onstage: pigs in space
announcer: when we last saw captain link hogthrob and his crew, they just encountered a new and strange life form.
link, piggy, and strangeprok stare at digit
strangepork: what do you think it is captain?
piggy: why are you asking him? he's the dumb one on this bucket of bolts ship.
link: i don't know what it is but he better not mess up my hair. i just got it the way i like it a few minutes ago.
link starts laughing at his joke
piggy: only someone as dense as you would laugh at that.
digit starts to move
strangepork: look, he's waking up!
digit looks at piggy, strangepork, and link
digit: okay people, let's get ready because it's time to shake those pounds away!
digit plays "shake your groove thing" while trying to exercise
strangeprok: what's he doing?
link: looks like he's trying to do the impossible, make miss piggy lose some weight!
piggy: you're the one who needs to lose the weight fatso!
lindbergh comes running in
lindbergh: oh no, digit is reenacting an exercise video with richard simmons.
piggy, link, strangepork: richard simmons! ahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!
piggy, strangepork, and link run away
announcer: tune in next time for another adventure of "pigs in space"!!!!
backstage where digit is hooked up to a lot of wires
lindbergh: okay, i'm going to try one more time to restart digit.
volts of electricity go through digit
lindbergh: i think it's working!
the power shuts down in the theater
kermit: what happened?
lindbergh: i think i put in too much power and it overloaded digit and the theater.
kermit: yeesh...
kermit walks on stage
kermit: sorry folks, but we had a power failure and are unable to do any more of the show.
waldorf: why couldn't you have a power failure at the beginning of the first muppet show?
statler: atleast then the show would have been interesting!
statler and waldorf: duhohohohoho!!!.....
kermit: crazy harry, do your thing.
crazy harry blows up statler and waldorf who then fly out of the muppet theater
kermit: you see harry, you can get rid of guest stars or audience members who are messing up the show, just not cast members. we'll see you next time on the muppet show!...
muppet show closing theme
statler and waldorf are flying in the air
statler: where do you think we're going?
waldorf: who cares, as long as it's not back to the muppet theater!


ryan

 

[Beauregard]

Good. Very good.