Muppet Fan-Fic: Don't Trip the Driver

The Count

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Yeah... And he ain't getting any spelling/grammar points, it should be "vouch".

But if your homework's to accomplish the impossible... Then dare to dream. The impossible dream? Me thinks there's a song cue there.
You found it yet Lisa?
 

Beauregard

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theprawncracker said:
HAHAHAHAHA!! *rolls on the floor* Oh...Oh sorry Ed. You just have NO idea how funny that is too me...You haven't seen my homework load! Just ask dear Lisa and Leyla, they'll vouge.
Madonna: *enters* And vouge to the music...
 

The Count

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He said "vouge", trying to say "vouch"... Not "vague". Now get out of here you DanDan impersonator!
Man, where's Bobo when you need him on security detail. Speaking of which... Prawny, you ain't gettin' off that easy... Post more story... Or suffer Uncle Deadly's, um, er, lightning fast powers of persuasion. So, more story, please?
 

theprawncracker

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Chapter 12

The twelve motorcycles sped down the highway in a triangle formation. Each bike housed it’s own pirate steering it down the road.

"Hey Polly!" Clueless shouted over to the lobster on the motorcycle across from him. "How are we supposed to catch up with those Muppets? They’ve been on the road for almost a whole day!"

"Don’t you think I know that?!" Polly shouted back at the goat. "And put your helmet on! We can’t afford more hospital bills for head damage!"

"Oh right, sorry," Clueless took his hands off the bars to reach behind him and grab a helmet.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE WHEEL DUMMY!" Polly screamed as Clueless’ bike swerved around the road.

Clueless grabbed up the handle bars. "But Polly, it’s not a wheel," Clueless said nonchalantly.

"Just shut up and drive!"

"But what about my helmet?"

"JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE!"

<X>X<X>​


Skeeter held both of Clifford’s hands in hers. "You washed?"

"Yes, for the eighth time," Clifford sighed.

"And you cleaned out your fingernails?"

"I don’t even got fingernails dude!" Clifford shouted. Skeeter gave him a disgusted look. "Dude-ette, sorry..."

Skeeter pushed Clifford’s hands right back at his chest. "Alright, you can touch my hair." Skeeter sat back down in her chair. "But only one hair, got it? I don’t want Bunsen getting a hold of it to clone me or something..."

"Heh, okay babe, brace yourself." Clifford cracked his knuckles.

"How is that supposed to help?!" Skeeter grabbed at her snake-like orange hair braids.

Clifford shook his head. "Sorry, force of habit."

"Could we please move this along?" Uncle Deadly asked.

"Gladly," Clifford moved forward to Skeeter, who doubled back in fear.

"Wait Cliffy, I’ve thought about this and I think you should wash your hands again!" Skeeter grabbed at her braids.

Uncle Deadly sighed. "Clifford will you just take the hair, please!"

"I’d love to Uncle D., but Skeet-"

"Just do it!!" Deadly shouted.

Clifford jumped and grasped a tiny hair on one of Skeeter’s braids and yanked it out. Skeeter yelped and stood straight up.

Clifford quickly handed the hair to Uncle Deadly, who grasped it in between his blue claws.

Skeeter fumed, her face stiffened and her eyes slanted. She rolled up the sleeves of her white polo shirt fitting lovely under her black vest. She walked right up to her boyfriend, put her yellow nose right up to his purple one and punched him right in the middle of the eyes.

<X>X<X>​


Benny tossed a stress ball up in the air, catching it as it fell up and down. He held the yellow sphere in his palm, the curvy black line that formed a smile looked him directly in the eyes. Benny squeezed the stress right out of the ball then threw it against the wall, causing it to burst open.

Benny’s eyes flared a crimson red. The mind of the gray man surged with activity, where did he go wrong? Why did his temper do this to him? Was it because of the way he cheated Death? He couldn’t recall his temper being this fatal before he "died." But it had been so long ago...

He shook the thought from his head and left the small chamber he had secluded himself in. He walked down the dull, quiet, empty hallway. He walked past the closet holding J.P. and Scooter, feeling in the pit of his stomach all the suffering Scooter was feeling.

Benny didn’t care, he walked on. He knew he had to return to his theater and retrieve the deed from J.P.’s jet. He just didn’t know if he was ready.

That phantom had put up a tough fight, if he hadn’t gotten lucky with the boards cracking he may not have won the last fight.

Benny made a silent note to fix the ceiling when the theater belonged to him again.

Still, he continued down the hall.

He knew he’d have to fight that spirit when he returned to the theater. He also knew that he would have to evict said specter once the theater belonged to him. No self respecting play house had a phantom sulking around it’s shadows.

But perhaps he was wrong, the Muppets, after all, had that phantom walking around that theater for thirty years, and look at their success now! Sure, they had hit a slump over the past years, but there’s no covering up the overwhelming success they had in the show business back in their golden age.

Back in the days where everyone knew Rowlf, everyone knew Gonzo the Great, everyone knew Scooter. Heck, the Electric Mayhem could’ve even played for the president if they wanted to! (Of course they all said that the gig was "distinctly un-groovy.") There were still neighbors of the Muppet Boarding House who didn’t know the names of all the Muppets.

But Benny knew there were fans out there still who would give anything just to be in the same state as even the most obscure of the Muppets (although, most all of them were obscure). He knew those fans are what kept the Muppets alive today. He knew that it was those fans who would keep the Muppets alive forever.

Maybe he’d keep the phantom. He was always in need of help around the stage.

That’s something else he would need, stage hands. He figured Scooter probably wouldn’t want to continue his job as go-fer after Benny took over. Not that anyone could blame him for that.

The gray figure figured he could just keep those dim-wit pirates on staff and pay them half the price of the usual stage hand.

Benny came to the end of the hallway. He stopped at the door leading to the outside. The world that had shunned him, the world that he used to love, but now hated. The world.

Benny knew what he had to do to take back his theater. He had to take a hostage.

>X<X>X<​


Mrs. Bear finally pulled the groovy bus into a gas station parking lot after miles of hunger pains. "Alright everybody, get off the bus and to the food!" she shouted.

None of the Muppets needed to be told twice, all of them filed out of the bus and found their ways into the gas station/restaurant.

"Mee me mo mo me!"

"Yes Beaker, I’m hungry too."

"Si si, don’t worry though, hokay? It looks like dere’s a buffet! Ooh! And look at all de sexy waitresses! Yum yum!"

"Yeah! And look at dem mashed potatoes! Oh boy! I think I’m in heaven!"

"Bawk bragawk baw!"

"No Camilla, you look lovely!"

"She’d luuk ifee mure-a lufely oon thet booffffet! Bork bork!"

"Buf-fet! Buf-fet!"

"Not until you use the bathroom man!"

"Fer sure, like, we don’t want another Denny’s incident!"

"This may be the most un-American I have ever felt in my entire life."

"But you’re not American! You’re a birdy!"

Kermit, Rowlf, and Fozzie walked in last after making sure there wasn’t any un-fixable damage to the bus. Kermit made his way up to the counter and rang the bell.

A woman with bright red hair pulled back into a bun and half moon glasses walked up to the counter. She was adorned with an apron and a face pointy enough to cut through paper.

"Um, hi," Kermit said. "Table for, uh...Rowlf, how many do we have?"

"Don’t ask me," Rowlf shrugged. "You’re the world renowned children’s educator."

Kermit scrunched up his face. "Thanks Rowlf. Fozzie, you count that half, I’ll count the other."

The frog and the bear silently counted fourteen Muppets each. "Fourteen plus fourteen," Kermit said aloud.

"Twenty-eight!" Robin spoke up from Sweetums’ shaggy arms.

Kermit grinned. "Yup Robin. Table for twenty-eight miss." Kermit told the woman.

"Twenty-nine!" Hilda popped out of nowhere.

"Hilda! We didn’t even notice you on the bus!" Fozzie said.

"Thirty actually green stuff!" Floyd shouted. "Lips is here with us too!"

"But he didn’t say anything," Kermit frowned.

"This surprises you Kermit?" Rowlf asked.

"Then I guess we have thirty miss," Kermit told the woman.

"Please hold on," the woman said in a whiny tone. "We may have to push some tables together to seat your little party."

"PAR-TY! PAR-TY!" Animal jumped up and down. Floyd squeezed the end of his chain tightly.

"Down Animal!"

"That’s fine," Kermit told the woman. "I just don’t know how much longer we can keep Animal under control on an empty stomach."

"Or Rizzo," Gonzo said. "You’ve never seen him in the ‘I’ll eat anything’ stage."

"You’re right!" Fozzie said. "I’ve only seen him on the Muppet Show stage! Ahh!"

"Good grief..." Kermit sighed.

Rowlf patted him on the back. "Don't worry Kermit, we'll get some food soon enough."
 

The Count

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Oh... Now this is a chapter!

Chapter 12... And you have twelve angry, um, pirates speeding down the highway on their motorcycles.
Funny bit with Polly and Clueless.

Glad to see that Gonzo's suggestion helped... That scene with Benny was chilling, but it goes a long way to understanding the man behind the spook.

Loved the segment with Clifford yanking one of Skeeter's preciously guarded hairs for Uncle D. Do I detect her wardrobe being the same as that glorious dinner party depicted in the VR wing of the Mallery Gallery?

And then to have Hilda and Lips pop up at the gas station/restaurant... Oh, this vas vonderful!

Prawny... More please!
 

Beauregard

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Loved Clueless and Poly! Loved the random chatting at the buffett! (You ROCK at those!) Loved and hated the chilly and delicious Benny thing! That was awesome. I love how we see past his outside to a deeper character, good choice.
 

The Count

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Wait a sec... Benny plans to hire some of the pirates as stagehands? Well, if he halves their pay from what Kermit usually pays the normal stagehands... Well, let's just say they should get some other jobs lined up, just in case.
 

christyb

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The Prawn! said:
Benny’s eyes flared a crimson red. The mind of the gray man surged with activity, where did he go wrong? Why did his temper do this to him? Was it because of the way he cheated Death? He couldn’t recall his temper being this fatal before he "died." But it had been so long ago...
Ooo either the voices in Benny's head are talking ooooorrrr.....

Crackers anyone? said:
He walked past the closet holding J.P. and Scooter, feeling in the pit of his stomach all the suffering Scooter was feeling.
Yes! He has a heart! Er...sorta...kinda...a teeny one.....it's there....somewhere....

Ryan said:
Benny didn’t care, he walked on. He knew he had to return to his theater and retrieve the deed from J.P.’s jet. He just didn’t know if he was ready.
Ifn he didna care then why is he struggling with is so? Hmmmm??

Anybody got some change? I need to trip I mean tip my driver said:
But Benny knew there were fans out there still who would give anything just to be in the same state as even the most obscure of the Muppets (although, most all of them were obscure). He knew those fans are what kept the Muppets alive today. He knew that it was those fans who would keep the Muppets alive forever.
Pick me! Me! Meeeee! I would. :stick_out_tongue: Buuut that doesn't mean I want Benny to win. So hurry up and post some more!
 

redBoobergurl

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Man, I'm really behind on my fan fic reading! Two chapters I had missed! I have to agree with what Christy said, pick me too! But as she also said, doesn't mean Benny should win. Must have more please! I'll try better to keep up if you post some more! :smile:
 
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