There are so many present under the tree in Apartment 5 that the tree looks like it's levitating. The kitchen smell scrumptious. There are more colored lights in the room than on Broadway.
Kermit: Is that all?
Ru: What do you mean, Is that all? If we stuff any more presents under the tree, we're going to need a bigger apartment. Stop worrying--you did fine.
Kermit: I'm just worried. It doesn't look like enough.
Piggy: (breezing in in a little red dress, white fur boots and a red, leopard-print santa hat.) Joyeux Noël, mon cheres. The tree looks lovely! And is that cocoa I smell...? (breezes out again on the way to the kitchen)
Kermit: I don't think there are enough presents.
Fozzie: How many do you think there ought to be?
Ru: Sweetie, I'm sure you're worrying for nothing. I don't think you've skimped at all in the present department. It'll be fine.
Kermit: (scratching the back of his neck) Well, maybe. But when all the presents are open, I don't want, um, anyone, to um, feel that there weren't enough presents.
Fozzie: I think you're worrying for nothing. I counted 55 presents, plus candy and--
Ru: Yes, and there's cocoa and cookies and appetizers.
Kermit: You seem remarkably calm, and I know you've been getting ready all day. How are you so calm?
Ru: Watching you is very calming.
Kermit: (hands on hips) Ha. Ha. Very amusing. You can tease me about being a worrywart, but I don't think there are enough presents--
(There is a knock at the door, and everyone startles.)
Ru: They're here! OMG! They're here! I've got to check my snickerdoodles! (runs out of room).
(Kermit trots to the door and opens it, and a veritable sea of little children rush through the door, all squealing and shouting with excitement.) They "oooh" and "aahh" about the tree and erupt into cheers when Ru comes in from the kitchen carrying two big trays of cookies. Fozzie follows her out of the kitchen with a stack of festive paper cups and takes up his post as hot-chocolate dispenser in the corner. Piggy wades into the tide of children and forges her way to the tree.
Piggy: Helloooo, children! Please pay attention so that when I call you name you can come up and get a present.
(The din in the room does not die down. No one pays attention. In fact, no one can hear her--she can hardly hear herself.)
Piggy: Ahh, ha ha, children! Oh, little ones. Please stop yelling to you can hear your name when Moi calls it, then come and get your present.
(Again, there is no response. There is much cocoa-drinking and cookie-gnoshing but not one little cherubic face is turned to Piggy.)
Piggy: (taking a deep breath) OKAY YOU LITTLE SQUIRTS! KNOCK IT OFF AND LISTEN UP!
(Silence reigns in Apartment 5. Kermit looks worried, then sees the rows of small faces all turned toward Miss Piggy at the tree. He and Fozzie exchange looks and shrugs.)
Fozzie: (sotto voce) Whatever works.
Kermit: Yeah.
Piggy: Yes. Well. Thank you. As you know, we are so happy to have you come by our apartment after caroling at the Hensonville Fire Station. We are so glad that you all were able to help them collect toys, and take them over to the children who will get them for Christmas. Moi is glad to see so many of you involved in spreading Christmas cheer this year. As you know, last year we had cookies and punch and presents for all of you, thanks to Mon Capitan, Kermit the Frog and I would like to ask him to come up here and say a few words.
Kermit: Oh, er, ahem. Um, sure. Let me just--excuse me, coming by you here, just a moment, oh, pardon me (Slowly, Kermit makes his way to the tree. When he gets there, Piggy kisses him on the cheek (to giggles) and smiles at him.)
Kermit: Um, hi guys. It sure was swell of each of you to bring a toy for someone else this Christmas. I really appreciate you thinking of others this time of year. Like Piggy said, we have cookes and presents for all of you, and then Mr. Rana--whom some of you know as Scoutmaster Rana--is going to walk with you back to the fire station where your parents can pick you up. Thank you so much for being generous this Christmas. Merry Christmas! (turns to Miss Piggy, who looks at her list).
Piggy: Abigail. Abigail--come and get a gift from under the tree.
A little girl in a powder-blue hoodie comes forward shyly and takes her gift, then whispers "thank you."
Piggy: Blaine. Blaine--come on up. And Christopher.
A chorus of voices call, "Which one?"
(Piggy looks at the list.) Oh. Oh, um, Christoper E. And THEN there's Christopher L. You too can get a present. (The list progresses until every child has had a chance to choose a gift. There are three presents left when all names have been called. Shortly thereafter, Mr. Rana shoes up again to walk them back to the fire station where parents will get them.)
Kermit: (flopping onto one of the recliners) Whew. That was close. But we still have presents left!
Fozzie: (peering at the cookie platter) Too bad we can't say the same for the snickerdoodles.
Ru: I'll make more.
Piggy: My ears are still ringing.
Fozzie: At least they didn't want to pat you on the head. My hair is all messed up.
Kermit: But good kids.
Ru: Yep. Good kids.
(There are about 3 minutes of silence and peace.)
Ru: Well--ready to start bringing out our presents for each other?
Kermit: Yep. In a minute. Good night so far.
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