Floyd's Bad Day

[muppetsandpixar]

Floyd had decided that this was the worst day ever. Nothing had gone right since he woke up. Even that had gone wrong as he woke up late after forgetting to set his alarm. He ran to get his clothes, but his favorite shirt was missing. He asked Scooter if he knew where it was. Scooter told him that the laundry hadn't been done the night before. Floyd sighed and grabbed his blue shirt instead. He then rushed to get in line for the showers.

 

[muppetsandpixar]

If anyone has any constructive critisim, I'd really appriciate it.

 

[MissMusical12]

It's a decent start, but I suggest adding in dialogue to show interaction between characters.
Description is also a huge key here so to try to describe each thing that goes on in the story with as much detail as you can.
Last but most certainly not least, humor humor humor! Add in humor when you feel it is most needed. Some irony wouldn't be too bad to add in as well.
Happy writing!

 

[muppetsandpixar]

It's a decent start, but I suggest adding in dialogue to show interaction between characters.
Description is also a huge key here so to try to describe each thing that goes on in the story with as much detail as you can.
Last but most certainly not least, humor humor humor! Add in humor when you feel it is most needed. Some irony wouldn't be too bad to add in as well.
Happy writing!

Thanks!

 

[fictionalnice]

great idea for a story! Just a wee bit longer on the next chapter please, I got into it then it ended! more please! Also sometimes it takes a while to come up with a title but I think if you had one the story would feel more grounded.

 

[muppetsandpixar]

sometimes it takes a while to come up with a title but I think if you had one the story would feel more grounded.

Title?

 

[fictionalnice]

yeah, write a title at the top, then a summary, then Ch. 1. it seems a little pointless I know. But it has always helped me feel like the story is even more my own. And if I ever got stuck, I just reread my summary or the beginning of my story and it usually helped me think. Don't know if my little tricks help or not. But either way you have a great story.

 

[muppetsandpixar]

Ohh..... Thanks!

 

[fictionalnice]

Your welcome! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

 

[muppetsandpixar]

Part 2​

​

He ended up last in line. After a long wait, he ran in, only to slip on​

something. He sat up, groaning.

"You okay, Floyd?" asked Zoot, helping the bass player to his feet.​

"Yeah. I'm fine." said Floyd. He looked around and saw that, for some reason,​

someone had left a bar of soap in the floor. He thanked Zoot and made his way to the showers.​

"Hope Animal didn't decide to bathe in the toilet. Again." He thought, trying to not think about his back.​

After a very cold shower, he headed to breakfast. On his way down, he met Doctor Teeth.​

"Hey, Floyd" Doctor Teeth said.​

"Hey, Teeth," Floyd replied, making his way to the kitchen.​

"Just a reminder; we've..." Teeth began.​

"Got practice this afternoon." Floyd finished. "Wouldn't miss it." he added, finally making it to the dining area.​