theprawncracker
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Sometimes It's Better To Go
Chapter 1: Wondering Why
Kermit walked down the empty sidewalk. It was raining. His raincoat was getting alot of work lately. "April Showers." He mumbled. He looked at all the stores and restraunts on both sides of him. All the families.
A bright piece of paper caught his eye. He picked it up. It was a flyer that read "Under the Weeping Willow, A Muppet Production." Kermit smiled and put the flyer in his pocket. "That," He said. "Is a whole other story."
He walked the rest of the way to The Muppet Theater. He looked into the ticket booth, it was empty. "Where's Pops?" He asked himself. He opened the door to the theater, it was empty as well.
On the stage he saw the hole Gonzo had made in the wall during last weeks show. "I thought I told Beau to make that his first priority."
He walked down the aisle between the seats. He was surrounded on both sides by rows of seats. There was still trash under the seats as well. "And I thought I told George to clean that up!"
Kermit hung his coat on the rack backstage. He was alone. "Hello? Is anyone here?"
Just then Mildred Huckstedder emerged from a dressing room. "Mr. Kermit! It's horrible sir, just horrible!"
"Mildred what on earth could be so bad?"
"I don't know, but Miss Piggy has been in her dressing room crying for the past hour!"
"Probably just a wardrobe malfunction." Kermit said to himself.
"I don't think so!" Hilda said as she popped up behind Mildred. "My hem stitch would never alow for a wardrobe malfunction!"
"Of course not Hilda." Kermit sighed as he walked up the stairs to Piggy's dressing room.
Kermit entered her dressing room where Piggy was sobbing on a couch with Beauregard, Pops, and George the Janitor trying to comfort her.
"Now Piggy, what is wrong?" Kermit asked her.
"Oh Kermie...He...they...it...Oh Kermie!" She sobbed.
"Piggy, if you can't tell me what's wrong, how will I be able to fix it?"
"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Uncle Deadly asked as he slipped into the room.
"Did you see what happened Uncle Deadly?" Kermit asked the phantom.
"Partially. My view was obstructed by the rafter below the one I was perched upon." Uncle Deadly said as he ran his fingers along an arm chair. "I heard the pig speaking to a man." He sat in the chair slipping his tail through a hole in the middle of the chair. "He said something about being from the government, and talked of eviction."
"Eviction?" George asked. "You must be crazy spook! This place is a historical landmark!"
"Piggy, is this what happened?" Kermit asked her.
She sniffed, and blew her nose into a blue handkerchief. She nodded. "He left a folder with me, it's on your desk."
Kermit walked out of the room followed by Uncle Deadly, the phantom peered over the ledge. He saw Kermit open a folder and pull out a piece of paper. Kermit read the paper very carefully.
Dear Mr. the Frog,
I regret to inform you that the office of Eminent Domain has been instructed to evict you from your theater. In case you do not know, Eminent Domain allows the American Government to take a piece of property with or without consent of the residents. We are however obliged to give you a check of $2000.00. It is included in this folder.
Thank you for your time,
Tyler Bryant
Kermit was shaking as he layed the peice of paper back on the desk.
"Hilda, Mildred, get everyone out to the seats, we need to talk." Kermit sighed as he walked back up to Piggy's dressing room to comfort her.
Everyone finnaly made their way to the seats in front of the stage. Everyone from Animal to Zippity Zap was there. Kermit watched as his confused friends talked non-stop.
"Um guys?" He adressed them. "Guys?" He said a bit louder. "QUIET!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
They all stopped talking at once. "Thank you." He said. "Now, I geuss you're wondering why I've cancelled tonight's show and brought you all out here."
"You bet!" Gonzo said from a front seat. "Tonight was the debut of my new stunt!"
"Well, this is more important." Kermit explained. "Today, an Eminent Domain officer came from the government. That means that he reserves the right to evict people from their homes just for the land. We have to be out of the theater by next Thursday."
Everyone started rambling again.
"That is absolutely un-American!" Sam Eagle bellowed.
"Man Kermit said that the government sent this clown!" Floyd Pepper remarked.
"Well...Um...Very well then." Sam sighed.
"Where are we supposed to go?" Rowlf asked.
"We'll all be out of jobs!" Fozzie cried.
"Yeah, and we'll all be out of show buisness!" George the Janitor wailed.
"Man, this gig we had here was dynamite!" Dr. Teeth said.
"Did somebody say dynamite?!?" Crazy Harry cried as he pushed down a dynamite plunger causing an explosion behind Kermit.
"Si, and what about de monies? Where will we get de monies?" Pepe asked.
"QUIET!!!" Kermit screamed again. "I don't know how to answer any of your questions. All I can tell you is that without the theater we can't afford the house. So, we'll all have to move out. And," Kermit said cutting the others off before they could talk. "We'll have to say goodbye."
Everyone started to talk again.
"Isn't there some other way Kerm?" Clifford asked.
"Does my uncle know about this?" Scooter asked annoyed.
"Couldn't we approach this matter scientifically?" Dr. Bunsen Honeydew asked.
"Mee me mo mo mee!" Beaker replied.
"I'm sure we could cut down on the food a little." Rizzo sighed.
"I could sell some of my boomerang fish!" Lew Zealand suggested.
"De blunderbuss gankly hord de money! Bork bork!" The Swedish Chef added.
"QUIET!!!" Kermit screamed once more.
"So I told him if you publish those pictures of me I'll...Oh um...Fer sure!" Janice said embarassed.
"Sheesh." Kermit scrunched his face. "Anyway, we all need to gather what ever personal items we can carry. I know that will be easier for some." He nodded to Sweetums. "So help each other out. Everyone needs to meet back at the house and get some sleep. I'm sorry. Goodnight."
Chapter 1: Wondering Why
Kermit walked down the empty sidewalk. It was raining. His raincoat was getting alot of work lately. "April Showers." He mumbled. He looked at all the stores and restraunts on both sides of him. All the families.
A bright piece of paper caught his eye. He picked it up. It was a flyer that read "Under the Weeping Willow, A Muppet Production." Kermit smiled and put the flyer in his pocket. "That," He said. "Is a whole other story."
He walked the rest of the way to The Muppet Theater. He looked into the ticket booth, it was empty. "Where's Pops?" He asked himself. He opened the door to the theater, it was empty as well.
On the stage he saw the hole Gonzo had made in the wall during last weeks show. "I thought I told Beau to make that his first priority."
He walked down the aisle between the seats. He was surrounded on both sides by rows of seats. There was still trash under the seats as well. "And I thought I told George to clean that up!"
Kermit hung his coat on the rack backstage. He was alone. "Hello? Is anyone here?"
Just then Mildred Huckstedder emerged from a dressing room. "Mr. Kermit! It's horrible sir, just horrible!"
"Mildred what on earth could be so bad?"
"I don't know, but Miss Piggy has been in her dressing room crying for the past hour!"
"Probably just a wardrobe malfunction." Kermit said to himself.
"I don't think so!" Hilda said as she popped up behind Mildred. "My hem stitch would never alow for a wardrobe malfunction!"
"Of course not Hilda." Kermit sighed as he walked up the stairs to Piggy's dressing room.
Kermit entered her dressing room where Piggy was sobbing on a couch with Beauregard, Pops, and George the Janitor trying to comfort her.
"Now Piggy, what is wrong?" Kermit asked her.
"Oh Kermie...He...they...it...Oh Kermie!" She sobbed.
"Piggy, if you can't tell me what's wrong, how will I be able to fix it?"
"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Uncle Deadly asked as he slipped into the room.
"Did you see what happened Uncle Deadly?" Kermit asked the phantom.
"Partially. My view was obstructed by the rafter below the one I was perched upon." Uncle Deadly said as he ran his fingers along an arm chair. "I heard the pig speaking to a man." He sat in the chair slipping his tail through a hole in the middle of the chair. "He said something about being from the government, and talked of eviction."
"Eviction?" George asked. "You must be crazy spook! This place is a historical landmark!"
"Piggy, is this what happened?" Kermit asked her.
She sniffed, and blew her nose into a blue handkerchief. She nodded. "He left a folder with me, it's on your desk."
Kermit walked out of the room followed by Uncle Deadly, the phantom peered over the ledge. He saw Kermit open a folder and pull out a piece of paper. Kermit read the paper very carefully.
Dear Mr. the Frog,
I regret to inform you that the office of Eminent Domain has been instructed to evict you from your theater. In case you do not know, Eminent Domain allows the American Government to take a piece of property with or without consent of the residents. We are however obliged to give you a check of $2000.00. It is included in this folder.
Thank you for your time,
Tyler Bryant
Kermit was shaking as he layed the peice of paper back on the desk.
"Hilda, Mildred, get everyone out to the seats, we need to talk." Kermit sighed as he walked back up to Piggy's dressing room to comfort her.
Everyone finnaly made their way to the seats in front of the stage. Everyone from Animal to Zippity Zap was there. Kermit watched as his confused friends talked non-stop.
"Um guys?" He adressed them. "Guys?" He said a bit louder. "QUIET!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
They all stopped talking at once. "Thank you." He said. "Now, I geuss you're wondering why I've cancelled tonight's show and brought you all out here."
"You bet!" Gonzo said from a front seat. "Tonight was the debut of my new stunt!"
"Well, this is more important." Kermit explained. "Today, an Eminent Domain officer came from the government. That means that he reserves the right to evict people from their homes just for the land. We have to be out of the theater by next Thursday."
Everyone started rambling again.
"That is absolutely un-American!" Sam Eagle bellowed.
"Man Kermit said that the government sent this clown!" Floyd Pepper remarked.
"Well...Um...Very well then." Sam sighed.
"Where are we supposed to go?" Rowlf asked.
"We'll all be out of jobs!" Fozzie cried.
"Yeah, and we'll all be out of show buisness!" George the Janitor wailed.
"Man, this gig we had here was dynamite!" Dr. Teeth said.
"Did somebody say dynamite?!?" Crazy Harry cried as he pushed down a dynamite plunger causing an explosion behind Kermit.
"Si, and what about de monies? Where will we get de monies?" Pepe asked.
"QUIET!!!" Kermit screamed again. "I don't know how to answer any of your questions. All I can tell you is that without the theater we can't afford the house. So, we'll all have to move out. And," Kermit said cutting the others off before they could talk. "We'll have to say goodbye."
Everyone started to talk again.
"Isn't there some other way Kerm?" Clifford asked.
"Does my uncle know about this?" Scooter asked annoyed.
"Couldn't we approach this matter scientifically?" Dr. Bunsen Honeydew asked.
"Mee me mo mo mee!" Beaker replied.
"I'm sure we could cut down on the food a little." Rizzo sighed.
"I could sell some of my boomerang fish!" Lew Zealand suggested.
"De blunderbuss gankly hord de money! Bork bork!" The Swedish Chef added.
"QUIET!!!" Kermit screamed once more.
"So I told him if you publish those pictures of me I'll...Oh um...Fer sure!" Janice said embarassed.
"Sheesh." Kermit scrunched his face. "Anyway, we all need to gather what ever personal items we can carry. I know that will be easier for some." He nodded to Sweetums. "So help each other out. Everyone needs to meet back at the house and get some sleep. I'm sorry. Goodnight."