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Sam and Friends BookHere's a new Beat the Time sketch with another non-Henson character!
(Drum rolls as the white "BEAT THE TIME" logo appears on the cyan blue background.)
ANNOUNCER: And now, it's time for your favorite game-show, "BEAT...THE TIME!"
(Audience cheers; scene fades to a game-show set, similar to the one with the Count)
ANNOUNCER: And here is our host of this show, Mr. Guy Smiley!
(Audience cheers again; game-show music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays as Guy Smiley enters the studio while getting caught in the curtains. He then walks through the curtains after getting caught with a big grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Thank you! Thank you! Hi there and welcome to another episode of "Beat the Time", the greatest stunt-show on Earth! (game-show music fades away) I am America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley. And now here is our contestant, the wacky Daffy Duck!
(Game-show music from BTT with Cookie Monster plays again while Daffy Duck (in animated form), from Looney Tunes enters the studio.)
DAFFY DUCK: Thank you! Thank you! I'm so pleased to be here!
(As game-show music fades away, cricket-chirping sounds are heard.)
DAFFY DUCK: Oh, great! Why isn't anyone in the audience applauding at me? (Notices that Guy Smiley is on stage, to Guy) Hey! You must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: That's right! I am Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, and are you ready to play our game?
DAFFY DUCK: You bet I am!
GUY SMILEY: OK! Now that you're ready, you are about to complete today's wacky stunt!
(Audience oohs and aahs)
DAFFY DUCK: Today's wacky stunt? Oh boy! Woo-hoo! Now tell me! What is it?
GUY SMILEY: Now Daffy, as for today's wacky stunt, you have to find three things...
DAFFY DUCK: Three things, yeah?
GUY SMILEY: (continued) that are the color pink.
DAFFY DUCK: Hmmm, sounds like an interesting stunt, but I'll give it a try.
GUY SMILEY: OK! But you must do it in under 30 seconds before the buzzer!
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: So be ready, get set,...and GO! GO, GO, GO!
(Time-ticking music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays.)
DAFFY DUCK: Should I go now?
GUY SMILEY: YES, DAFFY! GO! GO ALREADY!
DAFFY DUCK: All right, all right! (runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Will he do it? He's got 27 seconds left to find three things that are the color pink!
(Daffy re-enters the studio, carrying a slice of a watermelon.)
GUY SMILEY: What's that you're holding?
DAFFY DUCK: What's this? A slice of watermelon!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, Daffy! A slice of watermelon is pink although the skin is green. Now go find two more!
(as Daffy leaves the studio, the green grocer Anything Muppet from the BTT fan-fic with Biff enters the studio, angrily)
GREEN GROCER ANYTHING MUPPET: Hey, that duck just stole my watermelon without paying me money, just like what that carpenter did before! (notices that Guy Smiley is on stage) Hey! You're America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley! Can I have your autograph?
GUY SMILEY: Listen, there is no time for autographs right now, because we're playing "Beat the Time!" GET OFF THE STAGE! (pushing the green grocer AM off-stage; to the audience) Now, Daffy's only got 18 seconds left to find two more things that are pink! Can he do it?
(As Guy speaks, Daffy re-enters the studio, bringing in Porky Pig (in animated form))
PORKY PIG: D-D-D-D-Daffy, w-w-w-what are you doing?
DAFFY DUCK: Pig! (To Porky) Thank you, Porky! (kisses him) MMMWAH!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, wonderful! That's two things that are pink! Now you got 15 seconds left to find one more thing!
DAFFY DUCK: Right! (leaves the studio again)
PORKY PIG: W-W-W-W-Where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on "Beat the Time", so get out of here because we're playing the game! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Porky screams and runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Where could Daffy be? He's only got 11 seconds left to...
(As Guy speaks, Daffy re-enters the studio with nothing in his hands.)
DAFFY DUCK: Hey, Guy! I can't find one more thing that is pink!
GUY SMILEY: Well, you've got to! Now you've only got 6 seconds left!
DAFFY DUCK: Wait! I know!
GUY SMILEY: What?
DAFFY DUCK: Trust me. (zips off his duck suit to reveal that his bare skin is pink before the winning alarm goes on)
GUY SMILEY: Why, YES! Your bare skin is pink! That means you win the game, Daffy!
(Audience cheers)
DAFFY DUCK: (while putting his duck suit back on) Woo-hoo! I did it! I win the game! Woo-hoo!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, and now as for our prize, you win an all-expense trip to...
DAFFY DUCK: Hollywood!
GUY SMILEY: No, the duck pond, located at Saint Hills, Nebraska!
DAFFY DUCK: WHAT?
GUY SMILEY: That's right! You win a trip to the duck pond at Saint Hills, Nebraska!
DAFFY DUCK: (losing his temper) WELL THAT'S NOT THE PRIZE I EXPECTED TO WIN!
GUY SMILEY: Well, I'm sorry, then. (game-show music from BTT with Cookie Monster plays again; to the audience) And that's all the time we have for today, audience. Tune in tomorrow for another exciting game of "Beat the Duck!"
DAFFY DUCK: WHAT? THAT DOES IT! I'LL GET YOU THIS TIME! (starts chasing Guy)
GUY SMILEY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME! AAAAAAHHHHH!
DAFFY DUCK: (stops for a moment, to the camera) I HATE THIS SHOW! This guy doesn't deserve me the trip I wanna go to! (keeps chasing Guy)
GUY SMILEY: Uhh....as I was saying, uh, tune in tomorrow for another exciting game of...."Beat the Time"......AAAAAAAAH! (to Daffy) Stop chasing me! AAAAAAAAHHHHH...
(scene ends with chaos as Daffy keeps chasing Guy out the studio.)
(Drum rolls as the white "BEAT THE TIME" logo appears on the cyan blue background.)
ANNOUNCER: And now, it's time for your favorite game-show, "BEAT...THE TIME!"
(Audience cheers; scene fades to a game-show set, similar to the one with the Count)
ANNOUNCER: And here is our host of this show, Mr. Guy Smiley!
(Audience cheers again; game-show music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays as Guy Smiley enters the studio while getting caught in the curtains. He then walks through the curtains after getting caught with a big grunt.)
GUY SMILEY: Thank you! Thank you! Hi there and welcome to another episode of "Beat the Time", the greatest stunt-show on Earth! (game-show music fades away) I am America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley. And now here is our contestant, the wacky Daffy Duck!
(Game-show music from BTT with Cookie Monster plays again while Daffy Duck (in animated form), from Looney Tunes enters the studio.)
DAFFY DUCK: Thank you! Thank you! I'm so pleased to be here!
(As game-show music fades away, cricket-chirping sounds are heard.)
DAFFY DUCK: Oh, great! Why isn't anyone in the audience applauding at me? (Notices that Guy Smiley is on stage, to Guy) Hey! You must be America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley!
GUY SMILEY: That's right! I am Guy Smiley, America's favorite game-show host, and are you ready to play our game?
DAFFY DUCK: You bet I am!
GUY SMILEY: OK! Now that you're ready, you are about to complete today's wacky stunt!
(Audience oohs and aahs)
DAFFY DUCK: Today's wacky stunt? Oh boy! Woo-hoo! Now tell me! What is it?
GUY SMILEY: Now Daffy, as for today's wacky stunt, you have to find three things...
DAFFY DUCK: Three things, yeah?
GUY SMILEY: (continued) that are the color pink.
DAFFY DUCK: Hmmm, sounds like an interesting stunt, but I'll give it a try.
GUY SMILEY: OK! But you must do it in under 30 seconds before the buzzer!
(Drum roll)
GUY SMILEY: So be ready, get set,...and GO! GO, GO, GO!
(Time-ticking music from Beat the Time with Cookie Monster plays.)
DAFFY DUCK: Should I go now?
GUY SMILEY: YES, DAFFY! GO! GO ALREADY!
DAFFY DUCK: All right, all right! (runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Will he do it? He's got 27 seconds left to find three things that are the color pink!
(Daffy re-enters the studio, carrying a slice of a watermelon.)
GUY SMILEY: What's that you're holding?
DAFFY DUCK: What's this? A slice of watermelon!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, Daffy! A slice of watermelon is pink although the skin is green. Now go find two more!
(as Daffy leaves the studio, the green grocer Anything Muppet from the BTT fan-fic with Biff enters the studio, angrily)
GREEN GROCER ANYTHING MUPPET: Hey, that duck just stole my watermelon without paying me money, just like what that carpenter did before! (notices that Guy Smiley is on stage) Hey! You're America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley! Can I have your autograph?
GUY SMILEY: Listen, there is no time for autographs right now, because we're playing "Beat the Time!" GET OFF THE STAGE! (pushing the green grocer AM off-stage; to the audience) Now, Daffy's only got 18 seconds left to find two more things that are pink! Can he do it?
(As Guy speaks, Daffy re-enters the studio, bringing in Porky Pig (in animated form))
PORKY PIG: D-D-D-D-Daffy, w-w-w-what are you doing?
DAFFY DUCK: Pig! (To Porky) Thank you, Porky! (kisses him) MMMWAH!
GUY SMILEY: Wonderful, wonderful! That's two things that are pink! Now you got 15 seconds left to find one more thing!
DAFFY DUCK: Right! (leaves the studio again)
PORKY PIG: W-W-W-W-Where am I?
GUY SMILEY: You're on "Beat the Time", so get out of here because we're playing the game! GET OFF! GET OFF!
(Porky screams and runs out of the studio)
GUY SMILEY: Where could Daffy be? He's only got 11 seconds left to...
(As Guy speaks, Daffy re-enters the studio with nothing in his hands.)
DAFFY DUCK: Hey, Guy! I can't find one more thing that is pink!
GUY SMILEY: Well, you've got to! Now you've only got 6 seconds left!
DAFFY DUCK: Wait! I know!
GUY SMILEY: What?
DAFFY DUCK: Trust me. (zips off his duck suit to reveal that his bare skin is pink before the winning alarm goes on)
GUY SMILEY: Why, YES! Your bare skin is pink! That means you win the game, Daffy!
(Audience cheers)
DAFFY DUCK: (while putting his duck suit back on) Woo-hoo! I did it! I win the game! Woo-hoo!
GUY SMILEY: Yes, and now as for our prize, you win an all-expense trip to...
DAFFY DUCK: Hollywood!
GUY SMILEY: No, the duck pond, located at Saint Hills, Nebraska!
DAFFY DUCK: WHAT?
GUY SMILEY: That's right! You win a trip to the duck pond at Saint Hills, Nebraska!
DAFFY DUCK: (losing his temper) WELL THAT'S NOT THE PRIZE I EXPECTED TO WIN!
GUY SMILEY: Well, I'm sorry, then. (game-show music from BTT with Cookie Monster plays again; to the audience) And that's all the time we have for today, audience. Tune in tomorrow for another exciting game of "Beat the Duck!"
DAFFY DUCK: WHAT? THAT DOES IT! I'LL GET YOU THIS TIME! (starts chasing Guy)
GUY SMILEY: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO ME! AAAAAAHHHHH!
DAFFY DUCK: (stops for a moment, to the camera) I HATE THIS SHOW! This guy doesn't deserve me the trip I wanna go to! (keeps chasing Guy)
GUY SMILEY: Uhh....as I was saying, uh, tune in tomorrow for another exciting game of...."Beat the Time"......AAAAAAAAH! (to Daffy) Stop chasing me! AAAAAAAAHHHHH...
(scene ends with chaos as Daffy keeps chasing Guy out the studio.)
