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Sam and Friends BookAnnouncer: And now it's time for that great new show on daytime television-"At Campus With Guy Smiley"!
(fades to a college which is located in South Dakota. Guy Smiley and his helper Samuel Guide (a Fat Blue-type AM, which Guy always calls him "Guide" or "Mr. Guide") step out of the transit bus.)
Guy Smiley: Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is America's favorite star of daytime television, Guy Smiley, and I'm at Newsborgh Community College in South Dakota! (audience cheers) Yes, and today, I am going to give out information of the students!
Samuel Guide: Mr. Smiley, you're speaking in a loud tone of voice and you're not allowed to give out information of some people! This is a public place so come with me. We will get to see some new students in a moment.
Guy Smiley: All right, Mr. Guide! I'm ready to give out some information!
Samuel Guide: You're not paying attention to what I said to you! When you see some students, say hi to them first and have a good conversation with them. As you look at them, use good eye gaze like I have.
Guy Smiley: You mean like this? (looks at the ground)
Samuel Guide: No, not like that. Just look at the person's eyes real good, but not stare at them. (Guy nods) Look, there's a student down there.
(They see a live 18-year-old girl named Rita Jonas.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Rita Jonas.
Guy Smiley: (loudly) You're absolutely right, Mr. Guide because according to my visual student guide, she used to attend high school back in Iowa, her interests are work and science and likes to hang out with her girls and her name is Rita Jonas!
(audience cheers. Rita screams at him and runs off.)
Guy Smiley: Wait a minute! Why did she run away from me? I wanted to start a conversation with her!
Samuel Guide: She ran away from you because you're not having a conversation with her and you're speaking in a loud tone! You scared her! You made her uncomfortable! Now she's unable to talk to you anymore. So next time, when you see another student, say hi to him or her and then have a conversation.
Guy Smiley: You mean with my visual guide?
Samuel Guide: No! You cannot use that when you talk to other people. Listen to me, just talk with a good tone of voice with them and have a real conversation.
Guy Smiley: But using my visual guide is the way I ever use to have a conversation!
Samuel Guide: Look down there! There's another student right here.
(They see a 17-year-old girl named Marla Skippy.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Marla Skippy.
Guy Smiley: (loudly) Yep! I think you're correct again because according to my visual student guide, she lived in a city somewhere in Oregon, her interests are chemistry, English, drama and singing and loves to hang out a lot with her boyfriend and her name is Marla Skippy!
(audience cheers)
Marla Skippy: Oh, God! What a loud tone of voice! I really don't want to be with this person right here! You made me uncomfortable! Uggh! (leaves)
Guy Smiley: Oh, no! Why didn't she want to talk to me? I wanted to have a chance to speak to her!
Samuel Guide: She didn't want to speak to you because you're still not starting a conversation with her and you're still speaking in a loud tone of voice! Look what you did to her! You almost spoke in a negative tone! Next time, when you see some other students, say hi to them first and while having a conversation, please talk in a positive tone of voice.
Guy Smiley: You mean like THIS! (shows Samuel Guide his negative tone of voice)
Samuel Guide: No! Not like that! Listen to me-talk in a POSITIVE tone of voice. That means good tone of voice.
Guy Smiley: But this is the most positive that I ever talked when I'm with you!
Samuel Guide: Wait! Look down there! I want you to speak to another student right here!
(They see a live 18-year-old boy named Matthew Le'roy.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Matthew Le'roy.
Guy Smiley: (very loud) Yep! You are correct again because he used to attend high school somewhere in New Jersey, his interests are sports and music and he's one of the most popular college students although some students would think he's annoying and, yes, his name is MATTHEW LE'ROY!!
(audience cheers)
Matthew Le'roy: What's that guy doing here? I really don't like speaking to him! I just really don't like being with him! (Walks off.)
Guy Smiley: Oh, Guide...
Samuel Guide: Uggggghhhhhh!
Guy Smiley: Why did the students walk away from me when I wanted to start their conversations?
Samuel Guide: (feeling upset right now) Because you're always not starting their conversations and you're speaking in a negative tone! Ugggggghhhhhhh!
Guy Smiley: (yelling) Why do you keep teaching me about this?
Samuel Guide: GUY SMILEY! (short pause.) DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK TO ME IN THAT NASTY TONE OF VOICE AGAIN!!! (camly) If you keep talking to that voice again, I'm going to call your parents.
Guy Smiley: (yelling) WHY DO YOU KEEP TREATING ME LIKE A KID?
Samuel Guide: GUY!!! (camly) Stop that right now! Look, everyone has to learn about everything. Wait! Here comes another student, so say hi to him or her first and then talk in a positive tone of voice to him like me. Oh, no, why he's...
(They see a live 18-year-old boy named Timothy Crossware.)
Guy Smiley: Look at that kid! According to my visual student guide, this student used to attend high school back in Tennessee, his interests are band, Chemistry and History and sometimes he likes to bully some of his older friends back in elementary school and, yes, his name is TIMOTHY CROSSWARE!!!
(audience cheers)
Samuel Guide: Oh, no! I have to run away from him! I can't look at him! That means I'm getting out of here! (Screams and runs off)
Timothy Crossware: (yelling) I'M GONNA BEAT YOU RIGHT NOW YOU FREAK!!! (starts punching Guy)
Guy Smiley: And he sometimes acts immature. His name is Timothy Crossware.
Timothy Crossware: (starts noticing that Guy is here.) Hey! Aren't you America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley?
Guy Smiley: Yes, that's right! I am America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley, and I'm having a real conversation right now with you!
Timothy Crossware: Oh, God! I remember watching your game-shows back in my childhood like "Here Is Your Life", "Beat the Time" and "What's My Part"! Say, how about if we go out to see a movie togther!
Guy Smiley: That's a great idea! (To Samuel Guide, which he's not here anymore) Oh, Guide...(to Timothy) Where did he go?
Timothy Crossware: Oh, maybe he's afraid that I was gonna hit you so he would run away from us. Hey, gimme that camera you've just took.
Guy Smiley: Sure! (takes his camera out of his backpack and gives it to Timothy Crossware.)
Timothy Crossware: I'm gonna take a picture of you and then you'll take a picture of me just before we go out together.
Guy Smiley: That's a cool idea! I'm opposing...(Rita Jonas, Marla Skippy and Matthew Le'roy rush in as they finally notice that he's here)
Rita Jonas: Wow! You're Guy Smiley! I see you all the time back in my childhood!
Marla Skippy: I see you all the time in my childhood, too, but I'm so sorry that I thought I would not be with you.
Matthew Le'roy: And I'm sorry that I thought I wouldn't be with you, but hey, you're a great star of daytime television!
Timothy Crossware: OK, everybody, say "College Rules"!
Guy Smiley, Rita Jonas, Marla Skippy and Matthew Le'roy: College rules!
(Timothy takes a picture of them in a big picture. It's now in the college yearbook.)
(audience cheers)
Announcer: Tune in next week for another episode of "At Campus With Guy Smiley"! This show was recorded live at Newsborgh Community College in South Dakota.
(fades to a college which is located in South Dakota. Guy Smiley and his helper Samuel Guide (a Fat Blue-type AM, which Guy always calls him "Guide" or "Mr. Guide") step out of the transit bus.)
Guy Smiley: Thank you, thank you, thank you! This is America's favorite star of daytime television, Guy Smiley, and I'm at Newsborgh Community College in South Dakota! (audience cheers) Yes, and today, I am going to give out information of the students!
Samuel Guide: Mr. Smiley, you're speaking in a loud tone of voice and you're not allowed to give out information of some people! This is a public place so come with me. We will get to see some new students in a moment.
Guy Smiley: All right, Mr. Guide! I'm ready to give out some information!
Samuel Guide: You're not paying attention to what I said to you! When you see some students, say hi to them first and have a good conversation with them. As you look at them, use good eye gaze like I have.
Guy Smiley: You mean like this? (looks at the ground)
Samuel Guide: No, not like that. Just look at the person's eyes real good, but not stare at them. (Guy nods) Look, there's a student down there.
(They see a live 18-year-old girl named Rita Jonas.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Rita Jonas.
Guy Smiley: (loudly) You're absolutely right, Mr. Guide because according to my visual student guide, she used to attend high school back in Iowa, her interests are work and science and likes to hang out with her girls and her name is Rita Jonas!
(audience cheers. Rita screams at him and runs off.)
Guy Smiley: Wait a minute! Why did she run away from me? I wanted to start a conversation with her!
Samuel Guide: She ran away from you because you're not having a conversation with her and you're speaking in a loud tone! You scared her! You made her uncomfortable! Now she's unable to talk to you anymore. So next time, when you see another student, say hi to him or her and then have a conversation.
Guy Smiley: You mean with my visual guide?
Samuel Guide: No! You cannot use that when you talk to other people. Listen to me, just talk with a good tone of voice with them and have a real conversation.
Guy Smiley: But using my visual guide is the way I ever use to have a conversation!
Samuel Guide: Look down there! There's another student right here.
(They see a 17-year-old girl named Marla Skippy.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Marla Skippy.
Guy Smiley: (loudly) Yep! I think you're correct again because according to my visual student guide, she lived in a city somewhere in Oregon, her interests are chemistry, English, drama and singing and loves to hang out a lot with her boyfriend and her name is Marla Skippy!
(audience cheers)
Marla Skippy: Oh, God! What a loud tone of voice! I really don't want to be with this person right here! You made me uncomfortable! Uggh! (leaves)
Guy Smiley: Oh, no! Why didn't she want to talk to me? I wanted to have a chance to speak to her!
Samuel Guide: She didn't want to speak to you because you're still not starting a conversation with her and you're still speaking in a loud tone of voice! Look what you did to her! You almost spoke in a negative tone! Next time, when you see some other students, say hi to them first and while having a conversation, please talk in a positive tone of voice.
Guy Smiley: You mean like THIS! (shows Samuel Guide his negative tone of voice)
Samuel Guide: No! Not like that! Listen to me-talk in a POSITIVE tone of voice. That means good tone of voice.
Guy Smiley: But this is the most positive that I ever talked when I'm with you!
Samuel Guide: Wait! Look down there! I want you to speak to another student right here!
(They see a live 18-year-old boy named Matthew Le'roy.)
Samuel Guide: Guy, this is Matthew Le'roy.
Guy Smiley: (very loud) Yep! You are correct again because he used to attend high school somewhere in New Jersey, his interests are sports and music and he's one of the most popular college students although some students would think he's annoying and, yes, his name is MATTHEW LE'ROY!!
(audience cheers)
Matthew Le'roy: What's that guy doing here? I really don't like speaking to him! I just really don't like being with him! (Walks off.)
Guy Smiley: Oh, Guide...
Samuel Guide: Uggggghhhhhh!
Guy Smiley: Why did the students walk away from me when I wanted to start their conversations?
Samuel Guide: (feeling upset right now) Because you're always not starting their conversations and you're speaking in a negative tone! Ugggggghhhhhhh!
Guy Smiley: (yelling) Why do you keep teaching me about this?
Samuel Guide: GUY SMILEY! (short pause.) DON'T YOU EVER SPEAK TO ME IN THAT NASTY TONE OF VOICE AGAIN!!! (camly) If you keep talking to that voice again, I'm going to call your parents.
Guy Smiley: (yelling) WHY DO YOU KEEP TREATING ME LIKE A KID?
Samuel Guide: GUY!!! (camly) Stop that right now! Look, everyone has to learn about everything. Wait! Here comes another student, so say hi to him or her first and then talk in a positive tone of voice to him like me. Oh, no, why he's...
(They see a live 18-year-old boy named Timothy Crossware.)
Guy Smiley: Look at that kid! According to my visual student guide, this student used to attend high school back in Tennessee, his interests are band, Chemistry and History and sometimes he likes to bully some of his older friends back in elementary school and, yes, his name is TIMOTHY CROSSWARE!!!
(audience cheers)
Samuel Guide: Oh, no! I have to run away from him! I can't look at him! That means I'm getting out of here! (Screams and runs off)
Timothy Crossware: (yelling) I'M GONNA BEAT YOU RIGHT NOW YOU FREAK!!! (starts punching Guy)
Guy Smiley: And he sometimes acts immature. His name is Timothy Crossware.
Timothy Crossware: (starts noticing that Guy is here.) Hey! Aren't you America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley?
Guy Smiley: Yes, that's right! I am America's favorite game-show host, Guy Smiley, and I'm having a real conversation right now with you!
Timothy Crossware: Oh, God! I remember watching your game-shows back in my childhood like "Here Is Your Life", "Beat the Time" and "What's My Part"! Say, how about if we go out to see a movie togther!
Guy Smiley: That's a great idea! (To Samuel Guide, which he's not here anymore) Oh, Guide...(to Timothy) Where did he go?
Timothy Crossware: Oh, maybe he's afraid that I was gonna hit you so he would run away from us. Hey, gimme that camera you've just took.
Guy Smiley: Sure! (takes his camera out of his backpack and gives it to Timothy Crossware.)
Timothy Crossware: I'm gonna take a picture of you and then you'll take a picture of me just before we go out together.
Guy Smiley: That's a cool idea! I'm opposing...(Rita Jonas, Marla Skippy and Matthew Le'roy rush in as they finally notice that he's here)
Rita Jonas: Wow! You're Guy Smiley! I see you all the time back in my childhood!
Marla Skippy: I see you all the time in my childhood, too, but I'm so sorry that I thought I would not be with you.
Matthew Le'roy: And I'm sorry that I thought I wouldn't be with you, but hey, you're a great star of daytime television!
Timothy Crossware: OK, everybody, say "College Rules"!
Guy Smiley, Rita Jonas, Marla Skippy and Matthew Le'roy: College rules!
(Timothy takes a picture of them in a big picture. It's now in the college yearbook.)
(audience cheers)
Announcer: Tune in next week for another episode of "At Campus With Guy Smiley"! This show was recorded live at Newsborgh Community College in South Dakota.
