Dealing with depression and anxiety

dwayne1115

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All I can say is that no matter how rude, or how mean your parents may be they are still your mom and dad. Speaking as someone who lost there dad at a young age it will really break your heart if something really did happen to ether of them.
Also if something did happen to them and you had all this hate for them. Some where a long the line guilt would come over you. You would wish that you would have forgiving then, told them that you loved, and where glad for what they have done for you. Because deep down I'm almost sure that both your mom and dad love you very much.
 

fuzzygobo

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I've said it before and I'll say it again. When the time comes, it's best to forgive them. Not doing so won't make you feel any better, and the anger and hate inside you will eat away at you like cancer.

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

It's especially hard, the people we love the most can also make us the angriest.
But your mom sounds like my dad. Deep down I'm sure she really loves you, but it's hard for her to express that when she's dealing with her own demons.

That still doesn't excuse her abusive behavior, and someday she will have to answer for that.

I never said this forgiveness thing is easy (it certainly wasn't for me). But someday feeling the hurt and anger you feel right now, it's going to become such a burden on you forgiveness is the only way you can get rid of it. Then you'll be free.

But you're the only one who knows when that moment will come. Nobody else can make that moment come for you.
I hope you're ready to make that step someday. Sooner for your sake.
 

PuppetMad

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I'm so low at the moment, my life seems to be going backwards, I've just lost my flat so no I'm sleeping on my sisters sofa with my stuff crammed in a damp basement. I cant afford to rent a property in my area a the rental prices are way to high, I cant get a better job with more hours either. I don't really have any friends to talk to or to help me with projects I want to start. No one seems to care about me or anything i'm going though, I just feel so angry and upset and every other emotions I have are all fighting. I know I sound just like a teenager whinging how hard life is but that's hoe I feel right now. Sorry for the rant.
 

charlietheowl

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I'm so low at the moment, my life seems to be going backwards, I've just lost my flat so no I'm sleeping on my sisters sofa with my stuff crammed in a damp basement. I cant afford to rent a property in my area a the rental prices are way to high, I cant get a better job with more hours either. I don't really have any friends to talk to or to help me with projects I want to start. No one seems to care about me or anything i'm going though, I just feel so angry and upset and every other emotions I have are all fighting. I know I sound just like a teenager whinging how hard life is but that's hoe I feel right now. Sorry for the rant.
I'm sorry you feel this way, it appears you're in a tough spot right now regarding housing and work. It's understandable to be frustrated about everything. Perhaps you could talk to your sister about how you feel? She must be sympathetic to your situation since she let you move in with her.
 

PuppetMad

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I'm sorry you feel this way, it appears you're in a tough spot right now regarding housing and work. It's understandable to be frustrated about everything. Perhaps you could talk to your sister about how you feel? She must be sympathetic to your situation since she let you move in with her.
Thanks, but we dont really talk like that, im not very comftable talking about feelings and stuff with people. I just hope things will get better soon.
 

fuzzygobo

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Thanks, but we dont really talk like that, im not very comftable talking about feelings and stuff with people. I just hope things will get better soon.
It's always better to talk to somebody, if not a friend then maybe a teacher or minister or somebody who will listen. Keeping things bottled in won't help.
There are plenty here that have been in your shoes who you can open up to. Myself included. You can PM me if you feel like talking.
 

PuppetMad

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It's always better to talk to somebody, if not a friend then maybe a teacher or minister or somebody who will listen. Keeping things bottled in won't help.
There are plenty here that have been in your shoes who you can open up to. Myself included. You can PM me if you feel like talking.
Thanks for the kind words and understanding, I know its not good to bottle things up, but that's really just my way, I just get embarrassed, I wasn't overly comfortable sharing on here either, but i'm glad I did because I know that there are some truly AMAZING people out there who actually care about their fellow man, to offer support to a complete stranger is in my opinion truly humbling. YOU ARE ALL A CREDIT TO HUMANITY AND I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU IN THE WORLD IT LOOKS ALOT BETTER.
 

DramaQueenMokey

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I wish that I could just up and quit everything...

My dad sent a nasty letter through court, he and my mom are going to court soon (again) and, because I got upset, my mom yelled in my face that depression is my fault, that all I'm good for is making myself sick and that she hopes I have another seizure.

Oh, but, when you need like 90% of the court documents done in English I'm good for more, aren't I, mom? Naturally, because she can't learn to speak freakin' English, she uses me when it's convenient and I can't get out of it because I need to finish college.

But, yes. Please victim-blame the sufferer of said mental illness.
*please note my sarcasm there*

I wear my heart on my sleeve; always have and probably always will. You cannot tell me that I'm not allowed to feel anything, that's unnatural.

I mean, I even broke my phone arguing with her over it (I got it fixed pretty cheap but, never chuck an smartphone no matter how angry you are...)

I honestly wish that my parents had put me up for adoption so, then, maybe I would have a family who cares and I wouldn't have all these health problems (both physical and mental). My boyfriend doesn't like when I say that, because it hurts him to think that if that were the case, we might have never met and, as much as I do love him; I would take a life with a different family in a happy home over the life I have now in a heartbeat.

Again, all I wanna do is quit but, I can't...Though, if I couldn't trade everything away for a family and a happy home, I'd take quitting and or living out my days in a hole in Siberia or The Arctic for the rest of my days also...
 

fuzzygobo

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Unfortunately you can't quit life, no matter how much it sucks right now. (There is one way out some people have chosen- I've contemplated it myself- but that is NOT the answer.)


Would it be possible to move out, live with your Abuela, or even maybe have your boyfriend's parents take you in- just to get away from your mom for a while? You don't need to be blamed for your mom's misfortunes, and this abuse isn't going to help your studies.
I'm like you in a number of ways. I moved out when I was nineteen because I couldn't live under my father's roof anymore. I would've gone insane too.

You have a boyfriend who cares about your happiness so much. He might be able to help you out and into a better place where you can have some peace of mind. You need that and deserve that.

As tough as things seem now, the hard times won't last forever. But you can't quit.
 

PuppetMad

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I agree you cant quit, even though it feels like that's all that's left (I get like that sometimes, depression is a b!tch) but like Fuzzygobo said you do have a loving boyfriend and that's great because that is something to hold onto in those dark times. However crappy you feel you must try and remember that 'Hey someone loves me' and cling to that.
 
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