LipsGF4Life
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Fer sure it does! Hahahahaha....I love those Zoot parts.
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MissMusical12's Muppet Show Outlines
- Thread starter MissMusical12
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MissMusical12
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GUEST STAR: Dionne Warwick
STYLE: Early/Mid Season 4 (Between Linda Lavin and Lola Falana)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Dionne Warwick! Oh Dionne! 15 seconds till curtain, Dionne.
Dionne: Hey thanks, Scooter. By the way, there's someone here that says he's waiting for an elevator. But there's no elevator.
Elevator Whatnot: No it's coming. It's just going down.
The sound of an elevator falling out of the sky approaches and Dionne quickly moves out of the way. The elevator hits the whatnot.
Dionne: -to Scooter- Is that elevator going up any time soon?
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: The elevator from the cold opening comes down on Gonzo. The elevator doors then open, with Gonzo inside.
Gonzo: Going up?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, thank you and welcome again to the Muppet Show! Hey we're gonna have a terrific show for you tonight, because our guest star is that talented artist of the music world, Miss Dionne Warwick. All of tonight's musical numbers on the show are songs that have been sung by Miss Warwick. And.....
Miss Piggy: -peeking from behind the curtain- Pssssst! Kermie!
Kermit: Uhh yes, Piggy?
Miss Piggy: Moi is getting very impatient....introduce the number already!
Kermit: Uhh yes. "I Say A Little Prayer" right?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I told you. I'm not doing "I Say A Little Prayer."
Kermit: Then what are you doing?
Miss Piggy: -dramatically- The Theme....From "Valley Of The Dolls."
Kermit: -checks clipboard- Wait a second, you took that number from Dionne! That was supposed be HER opening number!
Miss Piggy: -angrily- We swapped, frog! Now introduce me or I'll kick that butt of yours to China!
Kermit: Yeesh. Ummm, ladies and gentlemen, here singing the theme from that dramatic movie "The Valley Of The Dolls," and my favorite pig, Miss Piggy!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Theme from "Valley Of The Dolls", sung by Miss Piggy, in a striking robe, in a bedroom setting.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Yeesh, when did we stop feeling safe about ourselves?
Statler: When the pig came on and ruined the show!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: That was great out there, Piggy, just great!
Miss Piggy: Oooh thank you, mon capitan! -kisses Kermit's cheek- I'll be waiting in my dressing room if you need anything. -goes off to her dressing room-
Kermit: Phew.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit.
Kermit: Yes, yes, Scooter?
Scooter: You know how Dionne is doing "I Say A Little Prayer" now?
Kermit: Yes.
Scooter: Well, the backup dancers won't cooperate with the choreography.
Kermit: Meaning.....
Scooter: Some even have two left feet.
A whatnot with two left feet passes by.
Kermit: Scooter, what's going on exactly?
Scooter: They refuse to do the number. They quit.
Kermit: -gasp- Then who are we gonna use for Dionne's number?
A group of penguins go over to where Kermit and Scooter are.
Scooter: Don't worry, boss. These Penguin Dancers have agreed to replace the backup dancers.
Kermit: Scooter, do you realize we're using penguins as dancers?
Scooter: As long as they don't have two left feet. -one of the penguins falls down-
Kermit: Good grief. -to the penguins- Okay, you penguins, get onstage for your number. -the penguins waddle onstage- Where's Miss Warwick?
Dionne: -coming out of her dressing room- Yes, Kermit?
Kermit: Oh good. Listen, we have a little change of plans for this evening. Nothing too big.
Dionne: Does Miss Piggy wanna swap numbers with me again?
Kermit: No! No! It's not that. It's just your backup dancers are uhhh...are......
Dionne: Kermit, what happened to them?
Kermit:....They shuffled out.
Dionne: Then who are my backup dancers? -hears the penguins onstage- Penguins?
Scooter: Well, it's better than nothing.
Dionne: I suppose you're right. -goes onstage-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to give each of you a little prayer from herself......
Statler: Is it the prayer for us to leave this show?
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohoho!
Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Say A Little Prayer, performed by Dionne and the penguins in a church setting.
MUPPET LABS: Bunsen invents a potion that could prevent people from having two left feet. But instead, when Beaker drinks the potion, Beaker has "two right feet."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: A House Is Not A Home, sung by Rowlf as repairmen are fixing the house he plays in.
UK BALCONY:
Statler: If a house isn't a home....
Waldorf: Then this isn't our home, either!
Both: Dohohohoho
BACKSTAGE (Dionne's Dressing Room):
Dionne is hanging out with the Penguins in her dressing room. She then feeds one of the penguins a fish. There's then a knock on the door.
Dionne: Come in.
Enter Janice.
Janice: Like, hi, Dionne!
Dionne: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Wow, like you have a lot of penguins in here.
Dionne: Well, they kinda needed a place to stay and so I let them stay here.
Janice: Fer sure. But don't they need to be like somewhere it's like cold and has tons of fish.
Dionne: Check the thermometer for yourself.
Janice: -checks thermometer and starts shivering- Burrr....like now it's rully cold in here.
Dionne: Oh that's no problem. Hal! Hal, can you get my friend Janice a coat here? She's shivering to death.
Hal the Penguin then goes off and gets Janice a coat and puts it on for her.
Janice: Wow, thanks Hal.
The penguins then chant "Number! Number! Number!"
Dionne: Alright, alright, I'll do a number for you guys.
Penguins: YAAAAAAY!
Dionne: Janice, can you help me out here?
Janice: Fer sure.
MUSICAL NUMBER: The Windows Of The World, sung by Dionne, accompanied by Janice and three penguins (one on finger cymbals, one on Koto, and one on xylophone)
PIGS IN SPACE: Penguins invade the Swinetrek and they all bow down to Captain Link Hogthrob as their leader.
BACKSTAGE:
The Penguins are dragging off Link as Miss Piggy and Dr. Julius Strangepork follow right behind him.
Kermit: Penguins! Penguins! Penguins, make sure you put him down when you're done!
Scooter: Hey boss, I have good news and bad news.
Kermit: Good news first, Scooter.
Scooter: The back up dancers from tonight are not quitting the show.
Kermit: Oh good. But what happened to them tonight?
Scooter: They all had a case of "two left feet." But luckily, Bunsen gave them his potion.
Kermit: And what's the bad news?
Scooter: They all have two right feet now. They won't be on next week either....or the week after that...or the week after that. I'm not sure about the week after that, though.
Kermit: Oooh, good grief.
Scooter: And speaking of grief, isn't it time to introduce Dionne's closing number?
Kermit: Oh! You're right, Scooter! -goes onstage-
The penguin with the two left feet passes by, but trips again.
Scooter: How do so many people and penguins get two left feet?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, once and gentlemen, to close tonight's show, it's time now we Walk On By our guest star Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Walk On By, sung by Dionne as various Muppets partnered with Penguins walk by Dionne.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Wasn't tonight a great show, folks? Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.
A Group Of Penguins: -come onstage- Awwwwwww.
Kermit: Hey, don't worry, you guys. You guys are our back up dancers....for the next 6 months.
Group of Penguins: Yaaaaaaaay!
Kermit: Anyways, before we go, let us say thank you to our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick!
Penguins and Kermit: YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!
Dionne: -comes onstage- Kermit, tonight was so much fun. And the penguins made it even cooler.
Kermit: What do you mean by cooler, Dionne?
Dionne: Well, the temperature dropped a few degrees here since they came.
Penguins: Yaaaaaaaay!
Kermit: But isn't the weather outside frightful already?
Dionne: Yes, but the fire's so delightful.
Kermit: Uhhh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Scooter, Miss Piggy and a bunch of penguins)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Statler: Waldorf, how are you feeling right now?
Waldorf: As cold as ice.
The two then freeze and become ice cubes.
END
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry. I had to rush this. Dinner was ready so I was in a hurry. Stay tuned for more outlines, though!
STYLE: Early/Mid Season 4 (Between Linda Lavin and Lola Falana)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Dionne Warwick! Oh Dionne! 15 seconds till curtain, Dionne.
Dionne: Hey thanks, Scooter. By the way, there's someone here that says he's waiting for an elevator. But there's no elevator.
Elevator Whatnot: No it's coming. It's just going down.
The sound of an elevator falling out of the sky approaches and Dionne quickly moves out of the way. The elevator hits the whatnot.
Dionne: -to Scooter- Is that elevator going up any time soon?
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: The elevator from the cold opening comes down on Gonzo. The elevator doors then open, with Gonzo inside.
Gonzo: Going up?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, thank you and welcome again to the Muppet Show! Hey we're gonna have a terrific show for you tonight, because our guest star is that talented artist of the music world, Miss Dionne Warwick. All of tonight's musical numbers on the show are songs that have been sung by Miss Warwick. And.....
Miss Piggy: -peeking from behind the curtain- Pssssst! Kermie!
Kermit: Uhh yes, Piggy?
Miss Piggy: Moi is getting very impatient....introduce the number already!
Kermit: Uhh yes. "I Say A Little Prayer" right?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I told you. I'm not doing "I Say A Little Prayer."
Kermit: Then what are you doing?
Miss Piggy: -dramatically- The Theme....From "Valley Of The Dolls."
Kermit: -checks clipboard- Wait a second, you took that number from Dionne! That was supposed be HER opening number!
Miss Piggy: -angrily- We swapped, frog! Now introduce me or I'll kick that butt of yours to China!
Kermit: Yeesh. Ummm, ladies and gentlemen, here singing the theme from that dramatic movie "The Valley Of The Dolls," and my favorite pig, Miss Piggy!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Theme from "Valley Of The Dolls", sung by Miss Piggy, in a striking robe, in a bedroom setting.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Yeesh, when did we stop feeling safe about ourselves?
Statler: When the pig came on and ruined the show!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: That was great out there, Piggy, just great!
Miss Piggy: Oooh thank you, mon capitan! -kisses Kermit's cheek- I'll be waiting in my dressing room if you need anything. -goes off to her dressing room-
Kermit: Phew.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit.
Kermit: Yes, yes, Scooter?
Scooter: You know how Dionne is doing "I Say A Little Prayer" now?
Kermit: Yes.
Scooter: Well, the backup dancers won't cooperate with the choreography.
Kermit: Meaning.....
Scooter: Some even have two left feet.
A whatnot with two left feet passes by.
Kermit: Scooter, what's going on exactly?
Scooter: They refuse to do the number. They quit.
Kermit: -gasp- Then who are we gonna use for Dionne's number?
A group of penguins go over to where Kermit and Scooter are.
Scooter: Don't worry, boss. These Penguin Dancers have agreed to replace the backup dancers.
Kermit: Scooter, do you realize we're using penguins as dancers?
Scooter: As long as they don't have two left feet. -one of the penguins falls down-
Kermit: Good grief. -to the penguins- Okay, you penguins, get onstage for your number. -the penguins waddle onstage- Where's Miss Warwick?
Dionne: -coming out of her dressing room- Yes, Kermit?
Kermit: Oh good. Listen, we have a little change of plans for this evening. Nothing too big.
Dionne: Does Miss Piggy wanna swap numbers with me again?
Kermit: No! No! It's not that. It's just your backup dancers are uhhh...are......
Dionne: Kermit, what happened to them?
Kermit:....They shuffled out.
Dionne: Then who are my backup dancers? -hears the penguins onstage- Penguins?
Scooter: Well, it's better than nothing.
Dionne: I suppose you're right. -goes onstage-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to give each of you a little prayer from herself......
Statler: Is it the prayer for us to leave this show?
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohoho!
Kermit: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Say A Little Prayer, performed by Dionne and the penguins in a church setting.
MUPPET LABS: Bunsen invents a potion that could prevent people from having two left feet. But instead, when Beaker drinks the potion, Beaker has "two right feet."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: A House Is Not A Home, sung by Rowlf as repairmen are fixing the house he plays in.
UK BALCONY:
Statler: If a house isn't a home....
Waldorf: Then this isn't our home, either!
Both: Dohohohoho
BACKSTAGE (Dionne's Dressing Room):
Dionne is hanging out with the Penguins in her dressing room. She then feeds one of the penguins a fish. There's then a knock on the door.
Dionne: Come in.
Enter Janice.
Janice: Like, hi, Dionne!
Dionne: Hey, Janice.
Janice: Wow, like you have a lot of penguins in here.
Dionne: Well, they kinda needed a place to stay and so I let them stay here.
Janice: Fer sure. But don't they need to be like somewhere it's like cold and has tons of fish.
Dionne: Check the thermometer for yourself.
Janice: -checks thermometer and starts shivering- Burrr....like now it's rully cold in here.
Dionne: Oh that's no problem. Hal! Hal, can you get my friend Janice a coat here? She's shivering to death.
Hal the Penguin then goes off and gets Janice a coat and puts it on for her.
Janice: Wow, thanks Hal.
The penguins then chant "Number! Number! Number!"
Dionne: Alright, alright, I'll do a number for you guys.
Penguins: YAAAAAAY!
Dionne: Janice, can you help me out here?
Janice: Fer sure.
MUSICAL NUMBER: The Windows Of The World, sung by Dionne, accompanied by Janice and three penguins (one on finger cymbals, one on Koto, and one on xylophone)
PIGS IN SPACE: Penguins invade the Swinetrek and they all bow down to Captain Link Hogthrob as their leader.
BACKSTAGE:
The Penguins are dragging off Link as Miss Piggy and Dr. Julius Strangepork follow right behind him.
Kermit: Penguins! Penguins! Penguins, make sure you put him down when you're done!
Scooter: Hey boss, I have good news and bad news.
Kermit: Good news first, Scooter.
Scooter: The back up dancers from tonight are not quitting the show.
Kermit: Oh good. But what happened to them tonight?
Scooter: They all had a case of "two left feet." But luckily, Bunsen gave them his potion.
Kermit: And what's the bad news?
Scooter: They all have two right feet now. They won't be on next week either....or the week after that...or the week after that. I'm not sure about the week after that, though.
Kermit: Oooh, good grief.
Scooter: And speaking of grief, isn't it time to introduce Dionne's closing number?
Kermit: Oh! You're right, Scooter! -goes onstage-
The penguin with the two left feet passes by, but trips again.
Scooter: How do so many people and penguins get two left feet?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, once and gentlemen, to close tonight's show, it's time now we Walk On By our guest star Miss Dionne Warwick! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Walk On By, sung by Dionne as various Muppets partnered with Penguins walk by Dionne.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Wasn't tonight a great show, folks? Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.
A Group Of Penguins: -come onstage- Awwwwwww.
Kermit: Hey, don't worry, you guys. You guys are our back up dancers....for the next 6 months.
Group of Penguins: Yaaaaaaaay!
Kermit: Anyways, before we go, let us say thank you to our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Dionne Warwick!
Penguins and Kermit: YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!
Dionne: -comes onstage- Kermit, tonight was so much fun. And the penguins made it even cooler.
Kermit: What do you mean by cooler, Dionne?
Dionne: Well, the temperature dropped a few degrees here since they came.
Penguins: Yaaaaaaaay!
Kermit: But isn't the weather outside frightful already?
Dionne: Yes, but the fire's so delightful.
Kermit: Uhhh, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Scooter, Miss Piggy and a bunch of penguins)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Statler: Waldorf, how are you feeling right now?
Waldorf: As cold as ice.
The two then freeze and become ice cubes.
END
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sorry. I had to rush this. Dinner was ready so I was in a hurry. Stay tuned for more outlines, though!
Piggy The Frog
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Good one! I love Dionne Warwick! This show was very penguiny (Is that a word? I doubt it, but meh). I could definitely see Kermit getting all scrunchy faced over the penguins' antics.
MissMusical12
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I wish penguiny was real word.
I just really wanted to do an outline with penguins. That was the first thing that popped into my head when I started this outline.
LipsGF4Life
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Luved it! And I luve your icon! Whats it from?
MissMusical12
Well-Known Member
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My new one? "John Denver and The Muppets: A Christmas Together." The whole thing is one Youtube, if you wanna watch it.
MissMusical12
Well-Known Member
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I've been dying to do this one for a while! Also, do check out my latest oneshot, "A Night At The Opera" if you get the chance (It's got KermitxMiss Piggy and FloydxJanice). Enjoy this outline!
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GUEST STAR: Olivia Newton-John
STYLE: Season 5
COLD OPENING:
Pops is observing a milkshake he has nearby, when Olivia enters.
Pops: Oh, who are you?
Olivia: I'm Olivia Newton-John. I'm your guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.
Pops: Olivia Newton-John? Star of them movies like "Grease" and "Xanadu?"
Olivia: Yes.
Pops: Doesn't ring a bell.
Olivia takes out a bell from her pocket and rings it loudly. Pops then becomes startled and knocks the milkshake down on the floor.
Olivia: Now does it ring a bell?
Pops: If it makes my milkshake fall, then yes.
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: A rabbit pops out of Gonzo's trumpet.
Gonzo: -to the rabbit- Hey, do you believe in magic, too?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show! And boy are you in for a treat tonight, folks!
Statler: The show's finally cancelled?
Kermit: No.
Statler: Then it's not a treat!
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohohoho!
Kermit: -to audience- They always bring bad news. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented singer and actress, who never fails at making people "Hopelessly Devoted" to her, Miss Olivia Newton-John!
Audience: Oooooh!
Kermit: Yes! But first, it's time to for a match in the boxing rink! A fight to the death, as one may say.
MUSICAL NUMBER: Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, sung by pigs fighting in a boxing ring. Link Hogthrob is also one of them, but is knocked out quickly in the ring.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Na na na na!
Statler: Hey hey hey!
Both: You stink! Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
The pigs are carrying Link offstage.
Kermit: Hey, is Link going to be alright?
Pig: Nope. -goes off-
Kermit: Good grief.
Gonzo: Hey, Kermit. What's this lovesick thing that's going around?
Kermit: What do you mean, Gonzo?
Gonzo: I want some of it.
Kermit: Some of what?
Gonzo: Whatever Floyd's having.
Kermit: Gonzo, did you poison Floyd!?!?
Gonzo: Nope. He's been going gaga since you said Olivia Newton John was going to be on the show.
Kermit: Oh?
Gonzo: Yeah, he might as well be the president of her fan club. -laughs and goes off-
Kermit: Floyd! Floyd!
Floyd: -humming "Hopelessly Devoted To You", ignoring Kermit-
Kermit: FLOYD!
Floyd: Huh? What? Oh, hey my little green amigo. What's up?
Kermit: Gonzo just told me your lovesick.
Floyd: Lovesick? Me? Ha! Gonzo doesn't even know what he's doing or saying half the time.
Olivia: -comes out of dressing room- Oh, Kermit.
Floyd faints at the sight of Olivia. Olivia then rushes over to where Kermit is and where Floyd fainted.
Olivia: Is he alright?
Kermit: Yeah. He's just lovesick.
Olivia: Lovesick?
Kermit: It's a term we use around here meaning "overly in love to the point where your throwing up and fainting in front of people." For Floyd...he faints.
Olivia: Has he always been like that?
Kermit: Nope. Not since I told everyone you're going to be on the show.
Olivia: Oh.
Kermit: Hey, listen. Are you ready for your number, Olivia?
Olivia: Ready whenever you are.
Kermit: Oh good. At least someone isn't sick around here. -Olivia goes on stage-
Floyd: -wakes up from his faint- Ohhhhh. Man what just happened?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take you to those golden days of the old cowboys in the west. And the lovely saloon girls and the drinks for only a coin. And our lovely guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Please Mr. Please, sung by Olivia in a country saloon setting dressed as a showgirl.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Oh that Olivia Newton-John is just terrific.
Statler: Umm...what did she sing about again?
Waldorf: I don't know....something about a postman?
BEAR ON PATROL: Patrol Bear arrests a Greaser whatnot, whom then offers him and The Police Chief an old car. They then break into singing Greased Lightning, but the Greaser whatnot soon escapes from Patrol Bear and the Chief being too caught up in the song.
UK SKETCH: NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet Newsflash! Dentists have been cracking down on their candy eating policies! They have now officially decided to pull all the teeth of those who have eaten any sort of candy, chocolate, taffy and tapioca in the past 12 hours when notified quick enough.
A dentist whatnot sneaks up behind the Newsman.
Newsman: And I now have that feeling that I'm being carefully and suspiciously watched by an anxious dentist.
Dentist: Open up and say "Ahhh!" -grabs the Newsman's mouth-
Newsman: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
BACKSTAGE:
Floyd is gazing at his signed photo of Olivia Newton-John in Grease.
Floyd: Oh, Olivia. I'm helpless without ya, babe.
Kermit and Gonzo are watching over at him.
Gonzo: Yeesh. I was never like that when Madeline Kahn came here. Kermit, I tell you, it's the lovesickness. It spreads real easily.
Kermit: Who had it last week?
Gonzo: Ummmm....remember that one girl Floyd signed an autograph for last week?
Kermit: Yeah.
Gonzo: She was lovesick with him. That's how he must've caught it. From the fan.
Kermit: How long does this lovesickness last till?
Gonzo: How should I know? I'm not a doctor. Ask someone who is. -goes off-
Kermit: -goes over to Floyd- Floyd, are you feeling okay?
Floyd: Never better, my amphibian friend.
Kermit: Well you seemed to be quite uhhh.....in love, there.
Floyd: -sigh- Olivia....
Kermit: Hey, what about your girlfriend?
Floyd: What girlfriend? I never had a girlfriend. -goes off to Olivia's dressing room-
Kermit: Yeesh. Good thing Janice is away this week.....or she'd rip one on him....
Zoot: -passing by- Big time.
BACKSTAGE (Olivia's Dressing Room):
Olivia is reading in her dressing room when there's a knock on the door.
Olivia: Kermit? Is that you?
Floyd enters.
Olivia: -not amused- Oh no. It's Romeo.
Floyd: It's actually Floyd, but who's counting?
Olivia: By all means, I could care less even if your name was Mud.
Floyd: -flirtaciously-You clever woman. -laughs-
Olivia: I didn't mean that as a compliment.
Floyd: Then you're gonna love this! Rowlf, get in here!
Rowlf: -pushing his piano into the dressing room- I'm doing the best I can, Floyd! I'm only one dog! I don't have nine lives like a cat.
Olivia: What...what is this all about?
Floyd: You good, Rowlf?
Rowlf: Whenever you are. -starts playing-
Floyd: I dedicate this one to you, Olivia.
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Honestly Love You, sung by Floyd serenading Olivia, accompanied by Rowlf. Olivia keeps making excuses throughout the song for Floyd to go away such as "I don't think I wanna know," "I honestly don't," and "Didn't Kermit say you had a girlfriend?"
PIGS IN SPACE: A drill sargent pig arrives on the Swinetrek and thinks automatically he's in charge (He even makes Captain Link Hogthrob do 500 push ups, which he can't even do one.) until First Mate Piggy karate chops the Drill Sargent Pig.
BALCONY:
Statler: Boy does this show not know how to take charge like him.
Waldorf: If he was the host of this show, this show would be called "M*A*S*H*E*D Potatoes!"
Both: Dohohohohoho
BACKSTAGE:
Miss Piggy is still hitting the drill sargent pig.
Drill Sargent Pig: OW! OW! OW! OW!
Miss Piggy: -hitting him- NO ONE EVER BOSSES MOI AROUND! YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID!!!
Kermit: Good grief.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit, I found that Lovesick Antidote Dr. Bunsen Honeydew whipped up a few months ago. Do you think it'll cure Floyd of his obsessive love for Olivia?
Kermit: Scooter, at this point, anything's worth a shot.
Gonzo: Hold on a second!
Scooter: What's the matter, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Forget the antidote, I found an easier cure for him.
Kermit: Oh good. What does Floyd have to do?
Gonzo: He has to.......
Olivia: -in worry and rushing out of her dressing room- Kermit!
Kermit: Olivia, what's the matter?
Olivia: It's Floyd again. He wants to the last number with me DESPERATELY!
Gonzo: Oh come, Olivia. Your last number can't be that bad to do with him. He can do anything.
Kermit: -checks clipboard but then gasps-
Scooter: What's the matter, chief?
Kermit: I don't think Olivia's going to like this....
Olivia: What's the matter, Kermit?
Kermit: Your last number is.......-gulp-......"You're The One That I Want."
Olivia: -gasp- You wouldn't!
Kermit: Well...I kinda was supposed to do the last number with you, but I guess Floyd might have to do it now....because of his condition.
Floyd: -rushes over- Did I hear you're doing "You're The One That I Want" as the closing number?
Olivia: Unfortunately. -Floyd holds on to Olivia- -to Kermit- Introduce us, already. -goes onstage with Floyd-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to sing that rousing duet from "Grease," our very own, currently lovesick Floyd Pepper and our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: You're The One That I Want (from Grease), sung by Olivia and Floyd. Towards the end of the song, a "fed up with Floyd" Olivia knocks Floyd out.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Well folks, I guess we've all learned a valuable lesson tonight. Don't ever fall in love with anyone who'll knock you out in the end.
Gonzo: -rushes onstage- Hey, Kermit! Great news! Floyd's not lovesick anymore!
Kermit: That's terrific! What cured him?
Floyd: -comes onstage, with an ice pack- A blow to the face from Olivia Newton-John. Good thing my main squeeze wasn't here to see what happened tonight. And let me say right now, Jan, despite everything that happened tonight, let me just say....I HONESTLY Love YOU....not Olivia Newton-John.
Kermit: And speaking of her, let us now thank our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! Yaaaaay!
Olivia: -comes onstage- Thank you, Kermit. -to Floyd- I'm glad you're feeling a lot better, Floyd. I'm sorry for knocking you out earlier.
Floyd: Hey no big, Olivia. At least I'm not lovesick anymore.
Olivia: Well...who is?
Link Hogthrob: -comes onstage, infected with lovesickness. singing- Hopelessly devoted to you.....
Olivia: Oh no.....here we go again....
Kermit: Umm...we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Gonzo, Floyd, Link Hogthrob, Scooter, and a few pigs from the opening number)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Waldorf: That Olivia Newton-John's a knockout!
Statler: Knock out, you say? -punches Waldorf off the balcony- You said to knock you out!
END
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This was A LOT of fun to do. Even as a FloydxJanice fan, I would still enjoy this outline! Stay tuned for more outlines soon!
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GUEST STAR: Olivia Newton-John
STYLE: Season 5
COLD OPENING:
Pops is observing a milkshake he has nearby, when Olivia enters.
Pops: Oh, who are you?
Olivia: I'm Olivia Newton-John. I'm your guest star on The Muppet Show tonight.
Pops: Olivia Newton-John? Star of them movies like "Grease" and "Xanadu?"
Olivia: Yes.
Pops: Doesn't ring a bell.
Olivia takes out a bell from her pocket and rings it loudly. Pops then becomes startled and knocks the milkshake down on the floor.
Olivia: Now does it ring a bell?
Pops: If it makes my milkshake fall, then yes.
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: A rabbit pops out of Gonzo's trumpet.
Gonzo: -to the rabbit- Hey, do you believe in magic, too?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Thank you, thank you. Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show! And boy are you in for a treat tonight, folks!
Statler: The show's finally cancelled?
Kermit: No.
Statler: Then it's not a treat!
Statler and Waldorf: Dohohohohoho!
Kermit: -to audience- They always bring bad news. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented singer and actress, who never fails at making people "Hopelessly Devoted" to her, Miss Olivia Newton-John!
Audience: Oooooh!
Kermit: Yes! But first, it's time to for a match in the boxing rink! A fight to the death, as one may say.
MUSICAL NUMBER: Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye, sung by pigs fighting in a boxing ring. Link Hogthrob is also one of them, but is knocked out quickly in the ring.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Na na na na!
Statler: Hey hey hey!
Both: You stink! Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
The pigs are carrying Link offstage.
Kermit: Hey, is Link going to be alright?
Pig: Nope. -goes off-
Kermit: Good grief.
Gonzo: Hey, Kermit. What's this lovesick thing that's going around?
Kermit: What do you mean, Gonzo?
Gonzo: I want some of it.
Kermit: Some of what?
Gonzo: Whatever Floyd's having.
Kermit: Gonzo, did you poison Floyd!?!?
Gonzo: Nope. He's been going gaga since you said Olivia Newton John was going to be on the show.
Kermit: Oh?
Gonzo: Yeah, he might as well be the president of her fan club. -laughs and goes off-
Kermit: Floyd! Floyd!
Floyd: -humming "Hopelessly Devoted To You", ignoring Kermit-
Kermit: FLOYD!
Floyd: Huh? What? Oh, hey my little green amigo. What's up?
Kermit: Gonzo just told me your lovesick.
Floyd: Lovesick? Me? Ha! Gonzo doesn't even know what he's doing or saying half the time.
Olivia: -comes out of dressing room- Oh, Kermit.
Floyd faints at the sight of Olivia. Olivia then rushes over to where Kermit is and where Floyd fainted.
Olivia: Is he alright?
Kermit: Yeah. He's just lovesick.
Olivia: Lovesick?
Kermit: It's a term we use around here meaning "overly in love to the point where your throwing up and fainting in front of people." For Floyd...he faints.
Olivia: Has he always been like that?
Kermit: Nope. Not since I told everyone you're going to be on the show.
Olivia: Oh.
Kermit: Hey, listen. Are you ready for your number, Olivia?
Olivia: Ready whenever you are.
Kermit: Oh good. At least someone isn't sick around here. -Olivia goes on stage-
Floyd: -wakes up from his faint- Ohhhhh. Man what just happened?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, we take you to those golden days of the old cowboys in the west. And the lovely saloon girls and the drinks for only a coin. And our lovely guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Please Mr. Please, sung by Olivia in a country saloon setting dressed as a showgirl.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Oh that Olivia Newton-John is just terrific.
Statler: Umm...what did she sing about again?
Waldorf: I don't know....something about a postman?
BEAR ON PATROL: Patrol Bear arrests a Greaser whatnot, whom then offers him and The Police Chief an old car. They then break into singing Greased Lightning, but the Greaser whatnot soon escapes from Patrol Bear and the Chief being too caught up in the song.
UK SKETCH: NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here's a Muppet Newsflash! Dentists have been cracking down on their candy eating policies! They have now officially decided to pull all the teeth of those who have eaten any sort of candy, chocolate, taffy and tapioca in the past 12 hours when notified quick enough.
A dentist whatnot sneaks up behind the Newsman.
Newsman: And I now have that feeling that I'm being carefully and suspiciously watched by an anxious dentist.
Dentist: Open up and say "Ahhh!" -grabs the Newsman's mouth-
Newsman: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
BACKSTAGE:
Floyd is gazing at his signed photo of Olivia Newton-John in Grease.
Floyd: Oh, Olivia. I'm helpless without ya, babe.
Kermit and Gonzo are watching over at him.
Gonzo: Yeesh. I was never like that when Madeline Kahn came here. Kermit, I tell you, it's the lovesickness. It spreads real easily.
Kermit: Who had it last week?
Gonzo: Ummmm....remember that one girl Floyd signed an autograph for last week?
Kermit: Yeah.
Gonzo: She was lovesick with him. That's how he must've caught it. From the fan.
Kermit: How long does this lovesickness last till?
Gonzo: How should I know? I'm not a doctor. Ask someone who is. -goes off-
Kermit: -goes over to Floyd- Floyd, are you feeling okay?
Floyd: Never better, my amphibian friend.
Kermit: Well you seemed to be quite uhhh.....in love, there.
Floyd: -sigh- Olivia....
Kermit: Hey, what about your girlfriend?
Floyd: What girlfriend? I never had a girlfriend. -goes off to Olivia's dressing room-
Kermit: Yeesh. Good thing Janice is away this week.....or she'd rip one on him....
Zoot: -passing by- Big time.
BACKSTAGE (Olivia's Dressing Room):
Olivia is reading in her dressing room when there's a knock on the door.
Olivia: Kermit? Is that you?
Floyd enters.
Olivia: -not amused- Oh no. It's Romeo.
Floyd: It's actually Floyd, but who's counting?
Olivia: By all means, I could care less even if your name was Mud.
Floyd: -flirtaciously-You clever woman. -laughs-
Olivia: I didn't mean that as a compliment.
Floyd: Then you're gonna love this! Rowlf, get in here!
Rowlf: -pushing his piano into the dressing room- I'm doing the best I can, Floyd! I'm only one dog! I don't have nine lives like a cat.
Olivia: What...what is this all about?
Floyd: You good, Rowlf?
Rowlf: Whenever you are. -starts playing-
Floyd: I dedicate this one to you, Olivia.
MUSICAL NUMBER: I Honestly Love You, sung by Floyd serenading Olivia, accompanied by Rowlf. Olivia keeps making excuses throughout the song for Floyd to go away such as "I don't think I wanna know," "I honestly don't," and "Didn't Kermit say you had a girlfriend?"
PIGS IN SPACE: A drill sargent pig arrives on the Swinetrek and thinks automatically he's in charge (He even makes Captain Link Hogthrob do 500 push ups, which he can't even do one.) until First Mate Piggy karate chops the Drill Sargent Pig.
BALCONY:
Statler: Boy does this show not know how to take charge like him.
Waldorf: If he was the host of this show, this show would be called "M*A*S*H*E*D Potatoes!"
Both: Dohohohohoho
BACKSTAGE:
Miss Piggy is still hitting the drill sargent pig.
Drill Sargent Pig: OW! OW! OW! OW!
Miss Piggy: -hitting him- NO ONE EVER BOSSES MOI AROUND! YOU TAKE BACK WHAT YOU JUST SAID!!!
Kermit: Good grief.
Scooter: Hey, Kermit, I found that Lovesick Antidote Dr. Bunsen Honeydew whipped up a few months ago. Do you think it'll cure Floyd of his obsessive love for Olivia?
Kermit: Scooter, at this point, anything's worth a shot.
Gonzo: Hold on a second!
Scooter: What's the matter, Gonzo?
Gonzo: Forget the antidote, I found an easier cure for him.
Kermit: Oh good. What does Floyd have to do?
Gonzo: He has to.......
Olivia: -in worry and rushing out of her dressing room- Kermit!
Kermit: Olivia, what's the matter?
Olivia: It's Floyd again. He wants to the last number with me DESPERATELY!
Gonzo: Oh come, Olivia. Your last number can't be that bad to do with him. He can do anything.
Kermit: -checks clipboard but then gasps-
Scooter: What's the matter, chief?
Kermit: I don't think Olivia's going to like this....
Olivia: What's the matter, Kermit?
Kermit: Your last number is.......-gulp-......"You're The One That I Want."
Olivia: -gasp- You wouldn't!
Kermit: Well...I kinda was supposed to do the last number with you, but I guess Floyd might have to do it now....because of his condition.
Floyd: -rushes over- Did I hear you're doing "You're The One That I Want" as the closing number?
Olivia: Unfortunately. -Floyd holds on to Olivia- -to Kermit- Introduce us, already. -goes onstage with Floyd-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here to sing that rousing duet from "Grease," our very own, currently lovesick Floyd Pepper and our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: You're The One That I Want (from Grease), sung by Olivia and Floyd. Towards the end of the song, a "fed up with Floyd" Olivia knocks Floyd out.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: Well folks, I guess we've all learned a valuable lesson tonight. Don't ever fall in love with anyone who'll knock you out in the end.
Gonzo: -rushes onstage- Hey, Kermit! Great news! Floyd's not lovesick anymore!
Kermit: That's terrific! What cured him?
Floyd: -comes onstage, with an ice pack- A blow to the face from Olivia Newton-John. Good thing my main squeeze wasn't here to see what happened tonight. And let me say right now, Jan, despite everything that happened tonight, let me just say....I HONESTLY Love YOU....not Olivia Newton-John.
Kermit: And speaking of her, let us now thank our very special guest star, Miss Olivia Newton-John! Yaaaaay!
Olivia: -comes onstage- Thank you, Kermit. -to Floyd- I'm glad you're feeling a lot better, Floyd. I'm sorry for knocking you out earlier.
Floyd: Hey no big, Olivia. At least I'm not lovesick anymore.
Olivia: Well...who is?
Link Hogthrob: -comes onstage, infected with lovesickness. singing- Hopelessly devoted to you.....
Olivia: Oh no.....here we go again....
Kermit: Umm...we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Gonzo, Floyd, Link Hogthrob, Scooter, and a few pigs from the opening number)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Waldorf: That Olivia Newton-John's a knockout!
Statler: Knock out, you say? -punches Waldorf off the balcony- You said to knock you out!
END
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This was A LOT of fun to do. Even as a FloydxJanice fan, I would still enjoy this outline! Stay tuned for more outlines soon!
LipsGF4Life
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GUEST STAR: Nancy Sinatra
STYLE: Mid Season 4 (Between Kenny Rogers and Christopher Reeve)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Nancy Sinatra! Oh Nancy Sinatra! 15 seconds till curtain, Nancy!
Nancy: -holding seashell- Scooter, I'm trying to hear the ocean with this shell that was given to me but I'm not getting anything.
Scooter: Oh let me try. -puts seashell close to his ear to hear ocean-
Nancy: Do you hear anything?
Scooter: It's saying something stupid.
Seashell: I love you, Nancy!
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Beauregard accidentally knocks down a bucket of water and the water splashes Gonzo.
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show, the only show in this neighborhood that has ran longer than "I Loathe Lizzie."
Lizzie: Oh yeah! I loathe you too, frog! -walks off-
Kermit: No wonder the show got cancelled. Everyone realized Lizzie's a Lizard. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented and extraordinary singer, Miss Nancy Sinatra!
Audience: Ooooooh!
Kermit: Yes! But first, here's a little discovery you might be quite intrigued in.....
MUSICAL NUMBER: Hello, Goodbye, sung by a whatnot explorer in a bat cave. A bat then bites the explorer near the end.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: You guys just said hello!
Statler: We should leave and say goodbye!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Okay, bats, nice number, nice number. Scooter, make sure you give Monty his daily fruit.
Scooter: You got it, chief!
Monty the Bat: -whining- Awwww, but I'm not a fruit bat. I'm a blood bat! -goes off with Scooter-
Miss Piggy: Kermie! Kermie!
Kermit: Uh, hello, Piggy.
Miss Piggy: I'd like you to have this....-gives him necklace-
Kermit: Oh....well, thank you, Piggy, I........
Miss Piggy: That'll be $25.
Kermit: $25....Piggy, why are you selling me your favorite necklace?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I don't have any Go-Go Boots for the closing number. And that pair of Go-Go Boots in that lovely boutique nearby costs quite a bit.
Kermit: Piggy, that's no problem. We can take care of it. How much is it?
Miss Piggy: $9,999.....
Kermit: -gasp- What!?!?
Miss Piggy:.....and 99 cents. That's why moi has resulted to selling all of her beloved belongings in her dressing room and buying that pair of Go-Go Boots.
Gonzo: -calling from above- Hey, Miss Piggy. How much is that mirror in your dressing room?
Miss Piggy: For you, $100.
Gonzo: Where's a piggy bank when you need one? -goes off-
Kermit: Listen, I'll pay you that $25 as soon as I can, Piggy. But right now, I need to introduce Nancy for her number. -goes onstage-
Miss Piggy: Why would somebody write a song about boots and have moi pay so much for a pair?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here she is, that talented singer and very beautiful woman she is.
Miss Piggy: -offstage- I HEARD THAT!
Kermit: Uhhh....here she is, Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Sugar Town, sung by Nancy in a "Candy Town"-esque setting. She is walking around alongside Sweetums, Doglion, and other monsters. One of the monsters eats one of the candy set pieces.
BALCONY:
Statler: That number just made me a little bit hungry.
Waldorf: Yeah...I could go for something sweet right now. But my medication won't allow me.
Both: Dohohohoho.
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Nice job out there, Nancy.
Nancy: Thank you, Kermit.
Miss Piggy: Oh Nancy! Nancy!
Nancy: Hello, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Hello, Nancy! Moi was just wondering if we could settle a trade of some sort.
Nancy: What trade?
Miss Piggy: How about I give you my entire makeup kit.......for....$999.
Nancy: Miss Piggy, I don't have that kind of money. And besides I have my own make up kit.
Miss Piggy: But moi would like to invite you to the dressing room liquidation that's going on for the evening.
Nancy: I'll think on that. -goes into dressing room-
Kermit: Okay, Vet's Hospital onstage! Vet's Hospital onstage!
Miss Piggy: Oooh. I almost forgot. -rushes to go onstage but trips. She then gets back up and rushes onstage-
VET'S HOSPITAL: The Gingerbread Man is the patient in Vet's Hospital. Dr. Bob is trying to resist eating it, but Nurse Janice kindly reminds him "Dogs can't eat sugar." To which Dr. Bob replies "You're right. It's our poison."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: All To Myself Alone, sung by Floyd, accompanied by Dr. Teeth and Zoot
BACKSTAGE (Miss Piggy's Dressing Room):
Various Muppets are in Miss Piggy's dressing room buying her belongings.
Miss Piggy: That's right. Right here. Right now. Moi is selling everything. -counting money- $9987, $9988, $9989, $9990! Just 10 more dollars and those Go-Go Boots will be moi's!
Nancy: -comes in- Miss Piggy, I.....wow. You sold a lot.
Miss Piggy: I know. Now I just need 10 more dollars for those Go-Go Boots.
Nancy: But you're selling everything.
Miss Piggy: That's the point. Money buys you everything.
Nancy: Except love.
Miss Piggy: Huh?
Nancy: If you love those boots so much, you'd let them be. I'll even give you one of mine.
Miss Piggy: Fat chance, Sinatra!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Can't Buy Me Love, sung by Nancy, Miss Piggy and other various Muppets in Miss Piggy's dressing room.
NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The expensive, Paris made, leather, $9,999 and 99 cent pair of Go-Go Boots that have been sitting in the local boutique near the Muppet Theater and would be perfect for a closing number with Nancy Sinatra, have just been sold!
Miss Piggy: -rushes onstage- WHAT!!?!?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOLD!?!? I DIDN'T EVEN BUY THEM!
Newsman: But I just got word.......
Miss Piggy: HIIIIIYAAA! -karate chops Newsman-
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Well, we know the pig won't be tripping onstage in Go-Go Boots.
Statler: She trips onstage all the time. That's she is. A natural tripper!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Miss Piggy: Kermie! This can't be true! The Go-Go Boots......they're.....they're......sold!
Kermit: Well, Piggy, there's nothing I can do about it. They're sold.
Miss Piggy: Can't you find out who bought them?
Kermit: No.
Miss Piggy: Oooh...and I gave everything I had up for those boots. Everything. Even Foo Foo.
Gonzo: Hey, thanks for selling me Foo Foo, Miss Piggy! I needed a dog for my new act anyways.
Miss Piggy: One second. -rushes upstairs, karate chops Gonzo, and retrieves Foo Foo- Ohhh, Foo Foo! Mommy will never give you up for Goo Goo Boots ever again! I promise!
Kermit: Well you got Foo Foo back......but you still don't have Go Go Boots for the closing number.
Miss Piggy: It doesn't matter. Don't tell her....but moi stole Nancy's Go Go Boots.
Nancy: -offscreen- KERMIT!!!!!
Miss Piggy: Must run! Toodle-oo! -goes onstage-
Nancy: Kermit, someone swiped my Go Go Boots for the last number!
Kermit: -gulp- I wonder who that could be?
Nancy: Oh well, I could....always....use heels.....-looks down, then back up- Or go barefoot. -goes onstage-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Ummm, okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, to close our show tonight, here's Miss Piggy and our guest star, Nancy Sinatra, performing that toe-tapping, high tapping, and should get you clapping, closing number! Here they are, Miss Piggy and Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: These Boots Are Made For Walking, sung by the still barefoot Nancy and Miss Piggy, whom has Nancy's Go Go Boots. Nancy then realizes that Miss Piggy took her Go Go Boots and fights Miss Piggy for the boots. Nancy becomes victorious and retrieves the Go Go Boots.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: And so concludes another Muppet Show. And boy are we glad no one walked out of this one. But before you all start walking away, let us thank our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nancy Sinatra! Yaaaaaaay!
Nancy: Thank you so much, Kermit. And look! I found my Go-Go Boots. I guess Miss Piggy was so envious that she had to steal them.
Miss Piggy: Oh shut it, Sinatra. I was not jealous. I was...curious.
Nancy: Yeah, you're curious alright.
Kermit: Okay, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Scooter and a couple of bats from the opening number)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Waldorf: One of these days, those boots are gonna walk all over us.
Statler: Let's hope it isn't today.
Both: Dohohohoho!
Suddenly, someone kicks Waldorf from behind and he falls off the balcony
Statler: That's what you get for doing shoe jokes! Ahahahahaha!
END
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Ehhhhhhhhhh, this one was alright. Took a while because I had to find a song for the UK Sketch. But I hope you all enjoyed this one. More outlines soon to come!
STYLE: Mid Season 4 (Between Kenny Rogers and Christopher Reeve)
COLD OPENING:
Scooter: Nancy Sinatra! Oh Nancy Sinatra! 15 seconds till curtain, Nancy!
Nancy: -holding seashell- Scooter, I'm trying to hear the ocean with this shell that was given to me but I'm not getting anything.
Scooter: Oh let me try. -puts seashell close to his ear to hear ocean-
Nancy: Do you hear anything?
Scooter: It's saying something stupid.
Seashell: I love you, Nancy!
THEME SONG
TRUMPET GAG: Beauregard accidentally knocks down a bucket of water and the water splashes Gonzo.
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Hi ho and welcome again to The Muppet Show, the only show in this neighborhood that has ran longer than "I Loathe Lizzie."
Lizzie: Oh yeah! I loathe you too, frog! -walks off-
Kermit: No wonder the show got cancelled. Everyone realized Lizzie's a Lizard. Anyways, our guest star tonight is that talented and extraordinary singer, Miss Nancy Sinatra!
Audience: Ooooooh!
Kermit: Yes! But first, here's a little discovery you might be quite intrigued in.....
MUSICAL NUMBER: Hello, Goodbye, sung by a whatnot explorer in a bat cave. A bat then bites the explorer near the end.
BALCONY:
Waldorf: You guys just said hello!
Statler: We should leave and say goodbye!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Okay, bats, nice number, nice number. Scooter, make sure you give Monty his daily fruit.
Scooter: You got it, chief!
Monty the Bat: -whining- Awwww, but I'm not a fruit bat. I'm a blood bat! -goes off with Scooter-
Miss Piggy: Kermie! Kermie!
Kermit: Uh, hello, Piggy.
Miss Piggy: I'd like you to have this....-gives him necklace-
Kermit: Oh....well, thank you, Piggy, I........
Miss Piggy: That'll be $25.
Kermit: $25....Piggy, why are you selling me your favorite necklace?
Miss Piggy: Kermie, I don't have any Go-Go Boots for the closing number. And that pair of Go-Go Boots in that lovely boutique nearby costs quite a bit.
Kermit: Piggy, that's no problem. We can take care of it. How much is it?
Miss Piggy: $9,999.....
Kermit: -gasp- What!?!?
Miss Piggy:.....and 99 cents. That's why moi has resulted to selling all of her beloved belongings in her dressing room and buying that pair of Go-Go Boots.
Gonzo: -calling from above- Hey, Miss Piggy. How much is that mirror in your dressing room?
Miss Piggy: For you, $100.
Gonzo: Where's a piggy bank when you need one? -goes off-
Kermit: Listen, I'll pay you that $25 as soon as I can, Piggy. But right now, I need to introduce Nancy for her number. -goes onstage-
Miss Piggy: Why would somebody write a song about boots and have moi pay so much for a pair?
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: And now, ladies and gentlemen, here she is, that talented singer and very beautiful woman she is.
Miss Piggy: -offstage- I HEARD THAT!
Kermit: Uhhh....here she is, Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Sugar Town, sung by Nancy in a "Candy Town"-esque setting. She is walking around alongside Sweetums, Doglion, and other monsters. One of the monsters eats one of the candy set pieces.
BALCONY:
Statler: That number just made me a little bit hungry.
Waldorf: Yeah...I could go for something sweet right now. But my medication won't allow me.
Both: Dohohohoho.
BACKSTAGE:
Kermit: Nice job out there, Nancy.
Nancy: Thank you, Kermit.
Miss Piggy: Oh Nancy! Nancy!
Nancy: Hello, Miss Piggy.
Miss Piggy: Hello, Nancy! Moi was just wondering if we could settle a trade of some sort.
Nancy: What trade?
Miss Piggy: How about I give you my entire makeup kit.......for....$999.
Nancy: Miss Piggy, I don't have that kind of money. And besides I have my own make up kit.
Miss Piggy: But moi would like to invite you to the dressing room liquidation that's going on for the evening.
Nancy: I'll think on that. -goes into dressing room-
Kermit: Okay, Vet's Hospital onstage! Vet's Hospital onstage!
Miss Piggy: Oooh. I almost forgot. -rushes to go onstage but trips. She then gets back up and rushes onstage-
VET'S HOSPITAL: The Gingerbread Man is the patient in Vet's Hospital. Dr. Bob is trying to resist eating it, but Nurse Janice kindly reminds him "Dogs can't eat sugar." To which Dr. Bob replies "You're right. It's our poison."
UK SKETCH: MUSICAL NUMBER: All To Myself Alone, sung by Floyd, accompanied by Dr. Teeth and Zoot
BACKSTAGE (Miss Piggy's Dressing Room):
Various Muppets are in Miss Piggy's dressing room buying her belongings.
Miss Piggy: That's right. Right here. Right now. Moi is selling everything. -counting money- $9987, $9988, $9989, $9990! Just 10 more dollars and those Go-Go Boots will be moi's!
Nancy: -comes in- Miss Piggy, I.....wow. You sold a lot.
Miss Piggy: I know. Now I just need 10 more dollars for those Go-Go Boots.
Nancy: But you're selling everything.
Miss Piggy: That's the point. Money buys you everything.
Nancy: Except love.
Miss Piggy: Huh?
Nancy: If you love those boots so much, you'd let them be. I'll even give you one of mine.
Miss Piggy: Fat chance, Sinatra!
MUSICAL NUMBER: Can't Buy Me Love, sung by Nancy, Miss Piggy and other various Muppets in Miss Piggy's dressing room.
NEWSFLASH:
Newsman: Here is a Muppet Newsflash! The expensive, Paris made, leather, $9,999 and 99 cent pair of Go-Go Boots that have been sitting in the local boutique near the Muppet Theater and would be perfect for a closing number with Nancy Sinatra, have just been sold!
Miss Piggy: -rushes onstage- WHAT!!?!?!?!? WHAT DO YOU MEAN SOLD!?!? I DIDN'T EVEN BUY THEM!
Newsman: But I just got word.......
Miss Piggy: HIIIIIYAAA! -karate chops Newsman-
BALCONY:
Waldorf: Well, we know the pig won't be tripping onstage in Go-Go Boots.
Statler: She trips onstage all the time. That's she is. A natural tripper!
Both: Dohohohoho!
BACKSTAGE:
Miss Piggy: Kermie! This can't be true! The Go-Go Boots......they're.....they're......sold!
Kermit: Well, Piggy, there's nothing I can do about it. They're sold.
Miss Piggy: Can't you find out who bought them?
Kermit: No.
Miss Piggy: Oooh...and I gave everything I had up for those boots. Everything. Even Foo Foo.
Gonzo: Hey, thanks for selling me Foo Foo, Miss Piggy! I needed a dog for my new act anyways.
Miss Piggy: One second. -rushes upstairs, karate chops Gonzo, and retrieves Foo Foo- Ohhh, Foo Foo! Mommy will never give you up for Goo Goo Boots ever again! I promise!
Kermit: Well you got Foo Foo back......but you still don't have Go Go Boots for the closing number.
Miss Piggy: It doesn't matter. Don't tell her....but moi stole Nancy's Go Go Boots.
Nancy: -offscreen- KERMIT!!!!!
Miss Piggy: Must run! Toodle-oo! -goes onstage-
Nancy: Kermit, someone swiped my Go Go Boots for the last number!
Kermit: -gulp- I wonder who that could be?
Nancy: Oh well, I could....always....use heels.....-looks down, then back up- Or go barefoot. -goes onstage-
INTRODUCTION:
Kermit: Ummm, okay. And now, ladies and gentlemen, to close our show tonight, here's Miss Piggy and our guest star, Nancy Sinatra, performing that toe-tapping, high tapping, and should get you clapping, closing number! Here they are, Miss Piggy and Nancy Sinatra! YAAAAAAAY!
MUSICAL NUMBER: These Boots Are Made For Walking, sung by the still barefoot Nancy and Miss Piggy, whom has Nancy's Go Go Boots. Nancy then realizes that Miss Piggy took her Go Go Boots and fights Miss Piggy for the boots. Nancy becomes victorious and retrieves the Go Go Boots.
GOODNIGHTS:
Kermit: And so concludes another Muppet Show. And boy are we glad no one walked out of this one. But before you all start walking away, let us thank our very special guest star, ladies and gentlemen, Miss Nancy Sinatra! Yaaaaaaay!
Nancy: Thank you so much, Kermit. And look! I found my Go-Go Boots. I guess Miss Piggy was so envious that she had to steal them.
Miss Piggy: Oh shut it, Sinatra. I was not jealous. I was...curious.
Nancy: Yeah, you're curious alright.
Kermit: Okay, we'll see you next time on The Muppet Show!
(Goodnights: Kermit, Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Scooter and a couple of bats from the opening number)
CLOSING THEME
BALCONY:
Waldorf: One of these days, those boots are gonna walk all over us.
Statler: Let's hope it isn't today.
Both: Dohohohoho!
Suddenly, someone kicks Waldorf from behind and he falls off the balcony
Statler: That's what you get for doing shoe jokes! Ahahahahaha!
END
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Ehhhhhhhhhh, this one was alright. Took a while because I had to find a song for the UK Sketch. But I hope you all enjoyed this one. More outlines soon to come!
Stan Davis
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2011
- Messages
- 691
- Reaction score
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great outline missmusical i have a question who perform these characters
Seashell
Whatnot Explorer
Monty the Bat
and also which muppets appear in Miss Piggy's Dressing room buying her stuff
Seashell
Whatnot Explorer
Monty the Bat
and also which muppets appear in Miss Piggy's Dressing room buying her stuff